Clapcast 83: Watchin' Fens
Transcriber: 1ampion (00:00 - 08:30) / jay (jay8325) (8:30 onward)
Sylvi: Keith, I watched like every season of Taskmaster that you recommended to me.
Keith: [excited] Hell yeah! Those are the best ones!
Sylvi: They are, you were right
Keith: Yeah. God, that show’s so good!
Sylvi: [laughter] It’s so fucking funny
Keith: I can’t even believe how good it is. The season with—okay, the season with Nish Kumar and Mark Watson—
Sylvi: [crosstalk] Oh my god! I adore those two!
Keith: And Bob Mortimer. I adore those two, I love Bob Mortimer—
Sylvi: Oh yeah.
Keith: He's so amazing. But the moment where—So, Mark is such an energy vampire that the entire season it feels like he’s neck and neck with Nish down at the bottom, failing everything. [Sylvi: Yeah.] Then you realize he kinda got robbed, and was two or three points away from winning [Sylvi: Yeah!] the whole thing! But they do that song together where they sing a [impressed] genuinely good pop song they wrote [crosstalk] in five minutes.
Sylvi: [crosstalk] And they—they don’t win enough between that and—she’s a [Keith: laughter] fucking nightmare, yeah.
Keith: She’s a Fucking Nightmare then comes in and is so outrageous and hilarious. God that was so funny! I was genuinely—Mark was moved to tears. [Sylvi: Yeah.] He was crying about this.
Sylvi: Cause he was so proud of himself!
Keith: He was so proud of himself. The line where Alex is like “I didn’t even know Mark could drum” feels like a miracle. [Sylvi and Keith: laughter] It’s so funny. What a great season.
Sylvi: Yeah, I think that might be—it’s up there for my favorite. I really like season seven as well, with James Acaster.
Keith: Yeah, James Acaster?
Sylvi: Yeah, Jessica Knappet.
Keith: And Jessica Knappett? Yeah.
Sylvi: Yeah.
[pause]
Keith: Bob Mortimer on Would I Lie to You? is some of the best television out there.
Sylvi: I love the way he names people while telling his stories.
Keith: Oh my god, it’s so funny! [laughter]
Sylvi: Sergeant Caramel.
[pause]
Sylvi: [softly] Okay, I’m gonna shuffle snares. [louder] Uh Keith, we still need you in the Roll20 for the cards, by the way.
Keith: Oh, did I not? Oh I just misclicked.
Sylvi: No worries!
Keith: [softly] Here we go.
Sylvi: I just wanna make sure—
Dre: [laughter] Oh, have you seen the Tiktoks of people doing [Sylvi: Yes!] bad lines from the new Taylor Swift album [crosstalk] as MF Doom?
Sylvi: There is one that I cannot stop repeating to myself.
Keith: I have not seen this.
Dre: [laughter] It’s so good.
Sylvi: [softly] I’ll try to find one.
Keith: I let my sister talk to me about once a week about Taylor Swift conspiracy theories.
Dre: Oh! which ones?
Keith: Just all of them. [Dre: Okay.] She’s a Gaylor, she’s a—
Dre: [anguished] Oh no!
Sylvi: No—
Keith: Yeah, I tear her to shreds every—once a week for this.
Sylvi: Yeah, you should.
Keith: It does not dissuade her or—well, now, actually, it finally has! Now she’s like “Oh, all the stuff I thought was about her being gay is actually about Matty Healy.” And then I’ll—
Sylvi: Yeah.
Dre: Sure.
Art: Uh huh. We’re all saying it.
Dre: Listen, I bet she made out with that girl one time. I forget that girl’s name. [Keith: Whatever.] Kloss? I don’t know.
Sylvi: She probably hated it.
Art: [laughter] Probably hated it?
Sylvi: Yeah, that’s my guess. Listen, I’m just saying: I don’t trust that Taylor Swift’s—I don’t think she’s like that.
Keith: Yeah, when people tell me that Taylor Swift is gay I’m like “this is the straightest person I’ve ever heard of in my life.”
Sylvi: Oh, I need to find that—there’s this really good skit I saw, of like—
Dre: [crosstalk] I think it is—
Sylvi: “Taylor Swift came out in her song!” And it’s like [singing] “I wanna have straight sex! At the gay pride parade” [laughs] Like in the background, it’s so funny.
Dre: [laughs] God. Isn’t the girl that everyone thinks she was gay for, isn’t she married to um, fuck! She’s married to—what’s the name of Trump’s son-in-law? It’s somebody from his family. 
Keith: Erik? [crosstalk] Donald! Oh.
Sylvi: [crosstalk] I don’t fucking know, dude.
Art: Son-in-law, those are just his sons.
Keith: Son in law. I’m remembering—I’m remembering now that you said “in-law”. [Dre: Uh.] Can’t remember.
Art: Wait, wouldn’t his son-in-law be necessarily married to his daughter?
Dre: Well yes, but it’s like someone that’s—it’s a Kushner. That’s who it, [Keith and Sylvi: Oh.] that’s his last name, she’s married. The person that everyone thinks Taylor Swift was gay and sad about [Sylvi: Okay.] is married to a Kushner.
Sylvi: To be fair, if I found out that Taylor Swift’s one gay experience was with a woman who ended up married to a Kushner, it would actually make sense. More than anything else a Gaylor has ever said to me.
Dre: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah.
Dre: Yeah.
4:22
Keith: Um, but yeah, so I’ve heard her talking about why she thinks people don’t like the new thing. But I haven’t heard any of the new thing.
Dre: It’s bad. 
Keith: What do you mean “bad?”
Dre: And I say that as someone who’s like, I’m fine with Taylor Swift. [crosstalk] Like, there are Taylor Swift songs that I even like.
Sylvi: [crosstalk] I’m a hater. 
Keith: [crosstalk] I’m a massive hater, yeah. Those ones, those Taylor Swift songs that I even like are just evidence that the rest of Taylor Swift isn’t good.
Dre: Yeah, that's how I feel about this album; it's just a bad album. She needs—[Art: Um.] She’s too big and nobody, she—nobody can tell her what to do anymore, she needs an editor.
Art: Yeah, no one can tell her “these songs all sound the same. [Keith: Yeah.] [crosstalk] You made an album where every song sounds the same.”
Dre: [crosstalk] They super do.
Sylvi: [crosstalk, yelling] We’ve been saying it for years!
Keith: She has this problem where she writes lyrics like no one would ever—like in ways that no one would ever think, but not in like, a creative way. In a way—like in an uncanny valley way, where I’m like “This is like an alien disguised as a pop song.”
Dre: And she hits it like one out of twenty times.
Keith: Yeah, yeah.
Dre: But.
Sylvi: What are you—are you saying that “Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto” is not a naturalistic—
Keith: [crosstalk] That’s so funny, that’s so funny.
Dre: No, thats the one out of twenty. That’s the one out of twenty, that part’s great. [laughs] Yeah.
Keith: That’s so funny.
Sylvi: [singing softly] “Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto.”
Art: You can’t, you can’t shit on the good stuff. That’s…
Sylvi: [softly] Yeah, okay.
Keith: No, it’s important to acknowledge that there's good stuff. [Sylvi: Yeah.] Otherwise you seem like…
Sylvi: It makes their criticisms ring less hollow. [Keith: Yeah.] Um… Are we all recording?
Keith: I’m recording.
Dre: Uh, yeah. We should delete all this Taylor Swift talk though, yeah.
Art: We shouldn’t put this tape out though.
Sylvi: You know what?
Keith: I don’t know, bring it on! I do this all the time. [Sylvi: Yeah.] Whatever. This is, this is RunButton.
Dre: I don’t, I don’t want to deal with that.
Sylvi: We can um, put the two of your voices, uh, Art and Dre, [crosstalk] and also we bleep those names; we’ll put those through, yeah we’ll put those through a filter so no one can tell it’s you. And then Keith and I will just get shot in the street by Swifties.
Dre: [crosstalk] Yeah, put me through the witness protection filter.
Keith: Although, although RunButton, we’re finally gonna get—we’re finally going to get our due for me talking shit about Hades on a stream the other day.
Art: Mmm.
Dre: Wow!
Sylvi: Damn… Get ‘em!
Dre: Anyway, I guess this is, I guess this is where I say I’m a Weedlor.
Keith: You think Taylor Swift secretly smokes weed.
Dre: Well uh, I mean this new album, she’s talking about smoking weed, like in—explicitly in like four tracks. [laughing]
Keith: Oh really, wow. [Dre: Yeah…] Four out of twenty tracks?
Dre: I guess she’s never talking about her… Well, I guess she talked about her smoking weed once. But one of the lines is like, about, this dude getting high and eating seven chocolate bars.
Sylvi: Oh! Cause he’s a “tattooed golden retriever”! That’s the other line I know from that song—that whole album. 
Keith: [confused] Tattooed golden retriever?
Sylvi: Yeah, she’s really good at writing the way normal people experience emotions.
Keith: Is she also like, she’s like just too online, in like a normie way? 
Dre: Yeah, probably.
Keith: She’s like, talking about golden retriever boyfriends.
Sylvi: Yeah. Um… are you guys on time.is?
Dre: I bet she’s not too online, it’s just it gets to her. It gets to her, but by the time it gets to her it’s the worst game of telephone.
Sylvi: [crosstalk] She’s got—she’s—
Keith: [crosstalk] She’s mid for mid, that’s what she…
Sylvi: Oh my god, yeah she is.
Art: I mean I bet she’s busy. [Keith laughs]
Dre: Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keith: Probably! She’s probably busy. Can scroll on your phone, yeah.
Art: I don’t know what like—
Dre: I don’t know, yeah.
Art: Yeah, it feels like being on a tour like that is…
Dre: [crosstalk] I'll let you know how busy she looks when I see her in concert in November.  
Keith: [softly] Ooh, how fun.
Art: Isn’t she in a weird country this fall? Isn’t she like international now, where’re you going?
Dre: No, She’s, she—[Art: Oh.] She added like extra tour dates, so we’re gonna go see her on my wife’s birthday.
Keith: Oh! Happy birthday. That’s a fun gift.
Art: As long as you’re not like “we’re going to see her on my wife’s birthday” in Vancouver. [Keith laughs]
Dre: Nah, it’s in Indianapolis. Vancouver would be fun, I’ve never been to Vancouver.
Art: Oh, Vancouver ruled. The Friends at the Table Vancouver show was a… a treat. 
Keith: I’ve heard positive things about Vancouver, but then I’ve also heard some negative things! [Dre: Oh…]
Art: I hear it’s a nice place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there [crosstalk] because all the people [inaudible 8:12] who wanna live there visit—ruined it.
Dre: [crosstalk] Yeah. [suspicious] It’s where they film all the secret shows!
Sylvi: [crosstalk] Sounds like a Canadian city! [Keith laughs]
[pause]
Sylvi: Uh, time.is? Y’all on it?
Dre: Sure, yeah yeah yeah.
Art: Uh, happy World Penguin Day? Also “DNA Day” sounds like it’s from…
Sylvi: [crosstalk] World Penguin Day? [excited] Yo, look who the quote’s from today!
Dre: Oh, it’s my guy!
Keith: Oh my god. Oh my God. Always in motion—the future is—always in motion is the future. There we go.
Art: Thank you.
Sylvi: But if there's a baby Yoda, then that means… My man. Okay, if we're ready to clap, do you want to do it at 15?
Art: Sure.
[long pause]
[synchronised clap]
Sylvi: [whispering] I have to introduce this now.
Art: You're going to be fine.
Sylvi: Yeah, I'm going to do it.
Art: Sorry, sorry.
Sylvi: You're all good, you’re all good.
Keith: Do we need another three minutes on Yoda? I—I got three minutes.
Sylvi: No, I, ‘cause it—three minutes on Yoda is going to end up being two hours on Yoda. I know us.
Art: That's true.
Sylvi: Cuz I got tons of Yoda bits.
[musical sting]
Art: Before we do this card, I need to go feed the dog.
Sylvi: Sounds good.
Dre: Yeah, bathroom break sounds good.
Art: Five to seven minutes.
Sylvi: Yeah. Everybody go get water. Go to the bathroom.
Art: Take a little fiver.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Yeah. Worth asking, is there a hard out for anybody tonight? I'm assuming try and be done around 11-ish, Dre?
Dre: Yeah.
Sylvi: Yeah. Because I know you got work tomorrow. Oh no. The Sixers are winning.
Keith: Oh no. Who are they winning versus?
Sylvi: The New York Knickerbockers.
Keith: Okay, that can't be what they're called, right?
Sylvi: It's—it is the full name, but [Keith: Really?] it’s shortened to Knicks, yeah.
Keith: I had no idea.
Sylvi: It's the funniest thing in the world.
Keith: Knickerbockers? 
Sylvi: Yeah, they’re the Knickerbockers.
Sylvi: This is like if the Red Sox were still officially called the Red Stockings.
Sylvi: I mean—Okay, I should check, they might not be officially called the Knickerbockers anymore. No, the New York Knickerbockers shortened and more commonly referred to as the New York Knicks…
Keith: Wow. They should embrace it.
Sylvi: Are an American basketball team.
Keith: Because it literally—cause Knickerbockers, that's just pants. [Sylvi: Yeah.] That just means pants. And so it really would be like if the Red Sox were still officially called the Boston Red Stockings.
Sylvi: I mean, their logo is still two red socks, isn't it?
Keith: It is, yeah. Socks.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: So.
Keith: But they're not called the Stockings anymore.
Sylvi: Oh, yeah.
Keith: They're [Sylvi: I'm—] Sox with an X.
Sylvi: I—this is a—if this makes it onto anything, a call to all of our New York based listeners to start calling them Knickerbockers full name.
Keith: Yeah. On a Run Button episode, I learned why—we were talking about bad sports stadium names. 
Sylvi: Oh, yeah.
Keith: I’m sure there's some terrible basketball stadiums.
Sylvi: Oh, there is some really funny ones. My favorite one is Ball Arena.
Keith: Ball. Well, that's not bad. What's the company? Some ball company, or is it just called that?
Sylvi: It's just. It's just called Ball. Like B, A, L, L. But that—
Keith: could be, like, Ernie Ball.
Dre: I know the answer to this.
Sylvi: Okay.
Keith: Thank you.
Sylvi: Do you know the answer to this?
Dre: Okay, It's Ball, the mason jar company.
Keith: There—oh, there we go. Ball, the mason jar company.
Sylvi: That's really funny.
Keith: See, that's the thing.
Sylvi: That's really funny.
Keith: That's the thing is, like, so a lot of them. Okay. Baseball stadiums are so bad with the names. My least favorite one, by the way, is in Chicago. It's Guaranteed Rate Field, which is a fucking insurance company.
Sylvi: Oh, that's pretty bad.
Keith: Can you imagine? It just destroys all of the magic of baseball by calling Guaranteed Rate Field. Are you kidding me? Home of the Chicago White Sox.
Sylvi: There's—the one I always think of is—I believe it's the Pelicans play at the Smoothie King Center.
Keith: And of course, there's the famous crypto.com arena.
Sylvi: Well, not anymore.
Keith: No, no. It's still. It's still until.
Sylvi: It is, I guess it is still technically called the crypto.com arena.
Keith: Until 2025. Yeah.
Sylvi: So funny. It was so funny when they changed that.
Keith: I know. It's insane.
Sylvi: Everyone was like, we're gonna call it the Crypt.
Keith: And this is how—Okay, so, so, and this is how, like, the secret—At some point, it becomes ingrained into the identity where you're like, you stop thinking about it. Like, until it was crypto.com, it was the Staples Center. Right?
Sylvi: Yeah, for years. I remember going to E3 there.
Keith: Because then it's like, well, Staples Center, that just sounds like the name of that place. But it’s just Staples, the company Staples. It's not.
Sylvi: Yep.
Keith: But it doesn't feel that way. And the same thing is true of even older things. Like Wrigley is just Wrigley's Gum. The Cubs park.
Dre: Oh, yeah. But, yeah, you don't think about that. [crosstalk] Because you just think about Wrigley Field.
Keith: [crosstalk] It’s just so old. So I was looking—I was like, how many baseball stadiums are left that have, like, real names that haven't been, like, companyfied? And there's very few. Very, very, very few. Fenway is one of them. Fenway is named after the swamp that used to be in Boston. The Back Bay. The Back Bay Fens. It's named after the fen—it's the fen way. It's the way where the fen is, which is really funny. There's still a park called Back Bay Fens. Fens. It's Fens, right? Even with an—when there's an S, you pronounce the S. It's not like [Dre: I believe so.] a weird word where you don't pronounce the S. Every time I say fens, I'm like, people don't talk about fens very often. So I'm like, do you just for some reason call it—?
Sylvi: That's a little offensive.
Keith: I watch Fens on Netflix every week. I go on Netflix, watch Fens.
Sylvi: Oh, my God. [hysterical group laughter] Stupid. Stupid.
Keith: I love Joey on Fens.
Sylvi: I love Joey Tibiani on Fens.
Keith: [laughs] Yeah. So I guess to me—
Sylvi: They were on a bake!
Keith: You know, this is why Fenway Park is the only good baseball stadium. Because it's the only one left that isn't called Tropicana Field or whatever.
Sylvi: Fair enough. I miss when Scotiabank Arena here used to be called the Skydome. [Dre: Ooh, yeah.] And I'm sure that was, like, named after something, but Skydome was such a cool name.
Dre: That is cool.
Keith: That is cool.
Sylvi: Or I guess it was the Rogers Center.
Keith: The Rogers Center.
Sylvi: It's the Rogers Center. My bad. I get Scotiabank Arena and the Rogers Center mixed up because I don't go to sports that often.
Dre: Yeah, that's fair.
Keith: Oh, no. The Rogers Center. The Rogers Center, originally Skydome.
Sylvi: Yeah. The Rogers Center is the one I'm thinking of, that used to be the Skydome. Oh.
Keith: Oh, okay. I see now. I see what you mean. Yeah.
Sylvi: I was getting it mixed up with where the Raptors play, which is Scotiabank Arena.
Keith: I misread that. This says Rogers Center is a multi purpose retractable roof stadium in downtown Toronto. I knew this. I know this because I play there in MLB the Show. I know about the retractable roof and I read it as respectable roof. I just glanced at it. It was like, it's a multipurpose, respectable roof stadium. It's right on the coast of Lake Ontario there. Look at that. Probably beautiful view.
Sylvi: Oh, no. It is. Yeah. You have to—it's also by the Ripley's aquarium here.
Keith: Oh, believe it or not.
Sylvi: Yeah, believe it or not. Same company. They got a good aquarium though. [Keith: Is it really?] Yeah, straight up. It is owned by the Ripley company, but good aquarium. They got like that cool tunnel that you can go in that’s got all the water all around it and like, sharks will swim over top of you and it looks cool. I love seeing the faces of stingrays and such.
Keith: [reading from wikipedia] The contemporary impetus for building an enclosed sports venue in Toronto came following the Grey Cup game of November 1982, held at the outdoor exhibition stadium. The game, in which hometown Toronto Argonauts, known as the Argos, were making their first Grey cup appearance since 1971, was played in a driving rainstorm that left most of the crowd drenched, leading the media to call it the Rain Bowl. [stops reading] It says down here. It says. [reading] The following day, a rally for the Argos at Toronto City Hall. Tens of thousands of people who attended the game began to chant, we want a dome. We want a dome. 
Sylvi: That's so funny. 
Keith: That's so funny. [reading] Seven months later, Davis formally announced a three person committee with look into the feasibility of building a domed stadium at Exhibition Place. [stops reading] Crazy. That's so funny.
Sylvi: That is actually crazy.
Dre: I think I had.
Sylvi: I didn't think it was CFL related.
Dre: I had a Toronto Argonauts jersey as a kid.
Keith: Wow.
Sylvi: That's dope as hell, Dre.
Dre: Yeah. My dad went to a conference in Toronto for like a few years in a row and he brought me back an Argos jersey.
Keith: This is really funny. This is to me—sorry, Sylvi, I don't, I don't have.
Sylvi: Roast this city.
Keith: The whole country, sorry.
Sylvi: Roast this country. 
Keith: [reading] To make a bad experience even worse, the washrooms overflowed. In attendance that day was Bill Davis, the Premier of Ontario. And the poor conditions were seen by the largest television audience in Canada, over 7.8 million viewers. The following day—[stops reading] so basically, this is very Canadian. The inspiration for the dome was public outrage as being viewed as shitty. 
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: People saw us suck. We need to not be seen as bad.
Sylvi: That's deeply Ontario.
Keith: That's very, yeah. 
Sylvi: That is so, that is so Southern Ontario.
Keith: Yes.
Sylvi: Holy—like fuck, we didn't keep up appearances. Oh my God.
Keith: I'm glad that you agree because I'm not an expert on Canada.
Sylvi: I mean, I'm not either, but I've lived here a long time.
Keith: You know what, as someone from Massachusetts, grew up 10, 15 minutes from Boston, that is a deeply Boston attitude, and I recognize that in Canada as well.
Sylvi: Yeah, no, there's some similarities.
Keith: There’s—Canada is America's Boston. Sorry—yes. Yeah—
Sylvi: [laughing] You'd think Boston is America's Boston.
Keith: No, no. Well, Canada is to America as Boston is to New York.
Dre: Okay. I was gonna ask, is New York the city that Boston—
Keith: Yes, yes. Boston is, like, deeply concerned with New York and what's happening there.
Sylvi: Yeah, no, that's correct, then.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: I hate it. But it’s true.
Keith: This is why a suburb of Boston has one of the best IMAX theaters in the country. Except it's in a Jordan's Furniture. You have to go into the Jordan's Furniture to get to the—one of the two best IMAXes in the country. And the other one is in New York City.
Sylvi: You told me about that before. That is very funny.
Keith: Yeah, this came up recently. That's why—I grew up going to Jordan's Furniture to see movies in IMAX. They have motion—they have, like, the, the moving chairs in there.
Art: Oh, I hate that shit.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Yeah. 4D, 4X?
Keith: Honestly, I think it was so long ago that they didn't really even have a name for it. Let me see. It was called—I remember it was called the MOM at the time. Motion Odyssey Machine. An interactive movie where this—where the seated—where the—“where the seated move with”—that's, this is them, not me. Where the seated move with the picture on screen, i.e. roller coasters, dune buggies, street luges. Yeah. So I saw Polar Express there and the mov—the seats shook and you got sprayed in the face with mist.
Dre: Oh, that’s fun.
Sylvi: Oh, that's the horrible Zemecka CGI faces.
Keith: Yeah. I didn't hate that movie. I. You know, I'm sure that it's not a good movie, but I never had the thing that people had with it where it was like, you looked at it and were weirded out by everything.
Sylvi: I just—I only ever watched it in school. Like, it was only ever like, we've got a day. We've got, like, time to kill before the holidays, and I don't want to teach you kids anything. So I'm gonna put a movie on for the next couple periods.
Keith: Yeah.
[musical sting]
Sylvi: —Roll 20 anymore. But it would be the same if we just went with…
Keith: I did the thing that I do in Roll 20 sometimes, which is I joined Miro, but didn't join the Miro board. I'm in now, though. I'm in. Okay.
Sylvi: [putting on a voice] I’m in. [normal voice] Okay.
Dre: Like Jason Bourne. 
Sylvi: [hacker noises]
Keith: Never seen a Bourne movie. 
Dre: Oh man. 
Art: Oh, some of them are worth it.
Dre: Yeah, first Bourne Movie Media Club Plus could be an idea.
Sylvi: I literally listened to the Jason Bourne Heems song that Ali referenced on the show forever ago today.
Dre: Great song.
Sylvi: Yeah, it's just a summary of the first movie. 
Dre: Mm-hm.
Keith: So it's like The Saga Begins by Weird Al.
Art: [making weird music noises] Like, you know what I'm talking about?
Keith: No, can you—
Dre: Hold on? Can you frame that again?
Art: You know, it's [more noises]
Keith: No, no. What is the—that is—what is that the noise of?
Dre: Yeah.
Art: That's like the song they play over the credits of all of the mainline Jason Bourne movies.
Dre: Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Sylvi: Oh, okay. I don’t know that. I don't.
[more music noises from Art]
Dre: Yeah, whatever—hold on. I'm gonna find this.
Keith: I'll throw these on the plex. It's free to put stuff on the plex.
Dre: Oh, yeah. It's a Moby song.
Keith: You mean Natalie Portman's boyfriend?
Sylvi: Wait, really? 
Keith: No.
Dre: Is that what's happening now?
[hysterical Keith laughter]
Sylvi: Oh, no, wait, I remember that! I remember the story now. Oh, Keith, do you wanna fill people in real quick while I—
Keith: Yeah.
Art: What is—
Sylvi: Get all my tabs together.
Keith: Moby was, like, a creepy guy, disgustingly obsessed with Natalie Portman and told a weird lie in his autobiography that he dated her and I guess spent years telling people that he dated her briefly. And when she heard about this, she came and was like, no, we've barely met.
Sylvi: Yeah, it came out a few years ago, I think pre-COVID. It was very funny.
Keith: Yeah, I think it was like, 2018 or something that it came out.
Art: This song is called Extreme Ways.
Keith: Wow.
Art: Parentheses. Jason Bourne.
Sylvi: He does have some extreme ways.
Dre: I have linked the official music video in the chat. It is. It starts weird.
[Extreme Ways (Jason Bourne) by Moby plays in the background]
Keith: Jason Bourne is like the pre John Wick, right? 
Dre: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Art: Yeah, by a ways.
Keith: Not—not—I mean, like, a precursor to—not, like, came literally came before, like.
Sylvi: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're correct.
Dre: Both, I think.
Keith: Guy can't be stopped.
Sylvi: Yeah. Same, like, vibe in terms of presentation, different motivations.
Dre: Yeah, for sure. And I also—I know, like, Bourne was books before, too.
[song stops playing]
Keith: Oh, Bourne was books?
Art: Yeah. But the books are not like the movies, if I understand correctly. 
Dre: Reacher is the other big spy books that, that the people are into now, right?
Keith: Oh, Reacher's big.
Dre: Yeah, I know that—
Keith: And by that, I mean—
Sylvi: Large.
Keith: Large. Yeah.
Dre: —Amazon—is Amazon?
Keith: Yeah, it's Amazon.
Art: Yeah, I think it's Amazon. Yeah.
Keith: God, I remember when Amazon made the best show of the 2010s, The Tick reboot, and then canceled it after two seasons.
Sylvi: I do remember that show. I don't know if I'd call it that, but yeah.
Keith: That show's phenomenal. Unbelievable.
Sylvi: It's. It's pretty good. We should probably do this podcast [Dre: Probably.] because it is about to be 8 PM here. And I don't know.
Art: Hold on. Let me just let Moby hit the chorus for me.
Sylvi: Okay, fine.
[Extreme Ways (Jason Bourne) by Moby starts playing again]
Sylvi: Also, I forgot that the first card we all answered. So it'll be fine to get us back in this swing of things.
Art: All right. That wasn't a very good chorus. I forgot that Moby's not very good.
Sylvi: He's not a hook guy.
Art: No, because of course, it's like “I would stand online for this.” Like, that's not like a cool thing to say.
Sylvi: [crosstalk] I would post online for this.
Keith: [crosstalk] I think actually, I think actually Moby is a hook guy. He just sucks.
Sylvi: He's a suck guy.
Keith: Yeah, yeah.
Art: He, he was trying to make all the animal shelters in LA go vegan.
Dre: Oh, I remember that.
Sylvi: This is the one thing I know about Moby is that he's like cartoonish vegan.
Keith: Yeah, well, you know the Natalie Portman thing, so.
Sylvi: Yeah, I know the Natalie Portman thing too. I guess I’m a liar.
Keith: Everything I know about Moby is like, what annoying thing is Moby up to? I don't know anything about his music or—
Art: I used to live in Moby's neighborhood and so Moby was just like an annoying person who affected my life for a while.
Dre: I remember you talking about this.
Sylvi: So funny. Wait, I do remember that actually.
Art: I had to know what Moby thought about things that I had opinions about.
Sylvi: Is everybody on time.is?
Keith: Yeah. No. What is—quickly, what is the, what is the most consequential thing you ever had to think about a—Moby about?
Art: His opinion about the Silver Lake reservoir.
Keith: Okay. He was against?
Art: He really had plans for that. Moby wanted to build this whole thing.
Keith: He wanted to build a whole thing at the reservoir?
Sylvi: Somehow.
Art: Yeah, it's not a real reservoir anymore.
Keith: Oh.
Dre: I can't believe Moby killed those people.
Keith: [laughs] 25?
Sylvi: Yeah, 25. Thank you. I wasn't sure if everybody had it. 
[musical sting] 
Sylvi: Sorry. I just saw in the Sangfielle chat, this Marn named Cabana. That's. I also really misread it—That VO's name is Jason Alexander for a second too [Austin: Fucking.] [Ali: If only.] Which would have been like, that—Listen, that's the canon Marn to me now is a little George Costanza.
Ali: We're getting him for the Sangfiellemovie.
Jack: Hello.
Sylvi: Hello.
Jack: Who we—We're getting George Costanza's guy?
Sylvi: Jason Alexander is gonna play Marne. 
Jack: Oh, yeah. That's great. 
Ali: What is this game? 
Austin: Oh, that's Yuden Chronicles, which is out next week. 
Sylvi: Oh, shit, I'm so curious about that. I'm a Suikoden nerd.
Ali: Oh, this is the Suikoden. Oh, boy howdy.
Jack: The thing with Suikoden is that there's like a billion characters, right? That's it’s gimmick.
Austin: 108!
Dre: A lot of dudes.
Sylvi: The way I got into Suikoden was I got the manga for Suikoden 3 when I was, like, from a book—from a Scholastic book fair.
Jack: That's great.
Dre: Fuck yeah!
Ali: Let's fucking go.
Austin: That's really, really good.
Ali: My, my high school boyfriend was a Suikoden stan. [Sylvi: Alright.] So what I did was every time I went to a GameStop, I tried to find a copy of it for PS1, and this was like.
Austin: Oh, yeah. I remember, I was working at—
Ali: It was like 2004, 2003 or whatever, and it was already, like, the hardest thing to find.
Austin: It was like, $80, $90. It was unfortunate. Ali, I to this day remember you being at least one of Matt Boyce's Suikoden sessions.
Ali: Oh, maybe. I probably wasn't playing. I was probably just chilling.
Austin: I really thought you played. But also, that was a game with, like, 15 players. So, like, played might have meant that Matt gave you a character sheet and you just sat there and then rolled dice three times?
[Sylvi laughs]
Ali: I remember being in AJ's apartment and looking through all of the Suikoden art books that he had.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Which might have been, like, a game design session.
Austin: It might have been. Yeah, like a character—yeah.
Ali: One of the Hofstra people was so obsessed with Suikoden that he, like, made a—designed a game. Yeah.
Austin: Tabletop. Yeah. Old roommate of mine. Yeah. Art, Shawn Ewing and I played a remarkable trio of characters called the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Ali: Oh, is that. That was from the Suikoden game?
Austin: Yeah.
Art: It sure was.
Ali: Oh, wow.
Sylvi: Like a wrestling faction name, honestly. [Austin: It really was.] Like, it's a movie name first and foremost, but when it's three guys, that's a wrestling faction.
Art: It basically was.
Austin: Never have guys been dudes more—
Jack: Than The Good, the Bad and the Ugly?
Austin: Uh-huh.
Art: Also, that game had a stunning amount of Suikoden lore.
Austin: Uh-huh!
Art: That I still don't know.
Austin: We did fine.
Art: Yeah.
Ali: Can I have a brief wrestling emotions check in?
Sylvi: Oh, my God. Yeah. Please.
Ali: Because I would love to know how people are feeling about Jon Moxley's recent title win.
Sylvi: I'm excited.
Dre: Oh, what title did he win?
Sylvi: He won the IWGP, baby.
Ali: Yeah.
Sylvi: He's the New Japan champ.
Art: He beat Naito. It's nice that the universe balanced itself. Because two Shield members lost their titles.
Ali: I started watching, like—
Dre: So is he not doing AEW anymore or are they, like, going back and forth?
Ali: He's been given permission to take time off to, like, do Japan stuff.
Sylvi: They've got a working relationship.
Ali: Yeah.
Art: But this is probably a pretty transitional…
Sylvi: I would imagine as much. I feel like this might be so—to, like, building up to the Forbidden Door stuff too, maybe.
Ali: Which is happening at my favorite venue in New York! Let’s go!
Sylvi: Oh, my God. Are you going?
Ali: I'm gonna try to, tickets aren't on sale yet. 
Sylvi: Hell, yeah. New rule that a Friends at the Table cast member must be at Forbidden Door.
Ali: [laughs] Let’s go.
Art: And all of the Arthur Ashe. Or is that—it's Arthur Ashe or is it?
Ali: No, it's UBS on Long Island.
Art: I don't know what that is.
Ali: Which is new, but is—
Art: Oh, is that the Nassau Coliseum?
Ali: No, they, like, built an arena.
Art: They got a new—
Ali: Yeah, it's in—yeah!
Austin: Belmont Park in Elmont. The horse track.
Art: What happened to Nassau Coliseum?
Ali: Oh, a lot of shit.
Sylvi: Didn't they demolish?
Ali: I think they want to. Yeah. They might have demolished the hotel next to it. And they're like—
Austin: Are they putting a casino there? 
Ali: It's a nightmare. I think that they wanted to.
Art: Oh, they can't put a casino that close to a college, kids’ll go broke!
Sylvi: Yeah. Have you seen what society's like these days? They will put that casino next to that college because they already got all the casinos on their phones.
Austin: Oh, a judge blocked it. A judge blocked it in November.
Ali: Let's go. Shout out to the law, question mark? 
Sylvi: Damn!
Ali: I—John Mox—
Art: Judges are a different aspect of the law.
Sylvi: I don't know. I'm still not saying shout out to the law, sorry.
Ali: Yeah… Yeah… Jon Moxley will forever be my favorite wrestler, but I do think that Naito sort of deserved better. So my feelings are mixed.
Sylvi: I… do agree.
Art: Naito will never get better, though.
Austin: Ouch.
Ali: Yeah.
Art: This is Naito's lot in life.
Sylvi: Well, this is also—he's like, he's done pretty much, like, he's gonna be done soon. Like, his—he has no knees. Like, his knees are shot completely. There's the, like—
Art: Do you need those to wrestle?
Sylvi: Huh?
Art: Do you need those to wrestle?
Sylvi: I mean, not… Not really, but, like, at that level, kind of. Especially when Okada just left the company. But, like, the whole thing, the way I was reading when he won at Kingdom this year was like, oh, this is them giving him his big moment of, like, doing the LIJ roll call in the Dome. Because last time he won here, Kenta fucked it all up. Cause they were doing an angle that didn't really go anywhere. Because of injuries, so.
Art: That was Covid's fault, wasn't it?
Sylvi: Yeah, I believe it was Covid's fault and is forever my biggest what if ever. If they fucking gave Kenta that belt, that would have been so cool.
Ali: Yeah. Okay. I haven't been keeping up with New Japan, so I didn't realize it was a thing of, like, let's put the belt on him before he has to retire and let—
Sylvi: It's not, like, explicit, but it is like, me—that's the kind of vibe me and my friends who have been, like, keeping up have been getting. There's a big—
Art: It's not explicit, but it's deeply implicit.
Sylvi: Yeah, there's a—well, because they're in a big, like, we're shifting to a new generation type thing that's been like, even more like jump started with the recent departures, so. I think—-
Ali: I know. What are they gonna do without Tama Tonga?
Sylvi: I know, fuck. I just hope I, I—hey, WWE, if you're listening, you guys really better not get his tag team partner, Tanga Loa. Better—Oh, I'll be, I'll be so steamed. And I'm like, winking a lot.
Jack: Microphones—
Art: Tama Tonga is gonna do fine in WWE. He's exactly that kind of guy.
Sylvi: Oh, yeah, no, he'll do fine. I just want—there's, like a really infamous clip of Tanga Loa wrestling Okada and doing the shittiest strikes in the world.
Art: Yeah, that's a great clip.
Sylvi: Yeah. And so that's why I want him to go to the place I don't watch.
Jack: Get him out of here.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Jack: Roll call. Do we have everybody?
Sylvi: We can keep Jack Perry. Yeah. How is—are we here? I can—I will talk about this all night. So. 
Austin: Dre?
Dre: Yeah, I'm here.
Austin: Keith?
Keith: Yeah, I'm here.
Austin: Okay. 
Keith: I was just absorbing. 
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: Let's do one clap?
Sylvi: 3, 2, 1?
Austin: Yeah. Ready?
[cast agreement]
Austin: 3, 2, 1.
[unsynchronised claps]
[Clapcast theme starts playing]