Perpetua 42: Escape the Rumbling Castle! 02
Transcriber: robotchangeling
Recap        1
Conflict (Continued)        4
Round Four [0:04:39]        4
Round Five [0:12:10]        12
Post-Conflict [0:14:25]        14
Gallery of Agonies [0:19:08]        19
The Painting        19
Melo [0:31:00]        30
Connie [0:44:04]        45
Ira [0:56:01]        58
Hezzi [1:08:21]        72
Miss Mephitic [1:15:19]        78
Recap                 
[“The Castle Eschatonica” by Jack de Quidt begins playing]
Austin: You sense the layering of time and history, and you also sense people moving through these places or creatures moving through these places. You hear sounds, not just of things that are, you know, inside of any one room but moving through the hallways. This place feels big and layered, but you figured that you're moving in the right direction. Veile, we know that you're able to do some rituals to kind of direct yourself towards an end, and your side has been doing that. Jonathan, you know where the airship is. It’s that way. You have a kind of key sense in your body about where it is at this point, and you're able to direct yourself, Nicky, and Antistrophe in that direction. Jonathan, Nicky, and Antistrophe, you come to a door that is opening up into a big octagonal room. It is a space that you or I would recognize as a late 20th century gallery space. You're stuck in here with these art pieces. 
Austin: You've come to a bar? It’s a bar. It’s a bar? It’s empty right now. Actually, you should give me the roll. Someone who’s leading the Travel, give me a d10 in here.
Jack: Okay, Maebela. [Sylvia and Art laugh]
Austin: Maebela is an NPC and cannot do the Travel roll. [Ali laughs]
Sylvia: That’s a good bit, though.
Austin: Yeah.
Sylvia: I can do it if no one else wants to.
Austin: Yeah. As you approach, you hear the sound of something or someone in this room. And as you look up, you see a person in kind of bronze armor who looks back at you and then sprints through the northern door, and Maebela rushes after.
Austin: Elena, we've done this dance before.
Jack: Once again.
Austin: Here we are.
Keith: The dyingest person of all time.
Jack: This is a machine gun blast that just shreds a booth, booth seating?
Austin: It completely tears apart this booth. It’s so— I just want to say something. We're in, like, a really aestheticized space, and so I try, you know, the kind of genre space that we're playing in is not gritty and grim, normally. This is a gritty and grim setting, right? Version of the world. And so it’s so loud when this is happening. It’s so loud in here.
Jack: And dust in the air, [Austin: Yeah. Yeah.] and, like, splinters of…
Austin: Absolutely.
[song ends]
Jack: “Characters who surrender fall unconscious—”
Austin: There it is.
Jack: “—become unable to act for the remainder of the scene, even if their Hit Points are restored above 0. The Game Master cannot kill a character who surrenders but may impose a narrative consequence chosen from the list below or a consequence that makes sense within the scene. If multiple characters surrender — or worse of all, if the entire group gets wiped out!” We never did a total party wipe. We got pretty close, though. I felt like one was coming.
Austin: In the very beginning, yeah. Yeah.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: Uh huh.
Jack: You may impose separate consequences. But I don't— I was reading this and being like, okay, when a player character chooses to surrender, they immediately gain 2 Fabula Points.
Austin: There you go. So, take 2.
Jack: Yes. That is what I was looking for.
Austin: Yeah. And then you'll come back with HP equal to your Crisis in the next scene.
Jack: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Austin: And then, I gotta look through your backpack real quick.
Jack: I didn't even get to cast my beautiful spell.
Austin: Which one?
Jack: I was going to cast Glacies.
Austin: Oh, you were going to cast. Yeah, that makes sense. Gosh, I think, of these options, the options that they're giving me, right, the sample consequences of surrendering are Darkness, which is where you change your Theme. You've already done that. Your Theme is Anger now.
Jack: Yep.
Austin: Despair: The enemy gets to make a decisive move or the heroes lose faith and the approval of an important person or group. Loss: Something incredibly precious is lost, like a loved person, a magical artifact, an important heirloom is taken from you. Resentment: You are forced to erase one of your Bonds and replace it with a Bond towards a character chosen by the Game Master. It has to become hatred, inferiority, or mistrust. I'm not doing that one, I don't think, here. Or you’re no longer with your allies; I don't think I'm doing that. But I am separating something. There is a loud crash in the north hall, and we'll see what’s up with that later. 
Jack: Okay.
Austin: There has been enough time for circumstances to change.
Jack: [tense inhale] Cool.
Conflict (Continued)
Round Four [0:04:39]
Austin: And I think we are back around into our fourth round? Fifth round? Fourth round. Fourth round. Fourthmeal. [Janine makes amused sound]
Sylvia: [quietly] Delicious.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: Yes. 
Art: Yep.
Jack: Fourth, right? Not third.
Austin: Fourth. I'd already written. I found where I'd written third.
Jack: Yep.
Austin: I wasn't sure if we’d done a whole other one since then, but.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: Okay. Turrets are unable to act.
Janine: I would— oh, right, turrets are unable to act. Okay, I'd like to pitch another thing where I do a thing and tag Caoimhe in.
Sylvia: Yay.
Janine: And I think… What was the one that was weak to lightning? Was that the bird?
Austin: So far, the bird has been confirmed weak to lightning, correct.
Janine: Okay. Okay. So, this is another, you know, it’s another pointed beautiful eye contact with Caoimhe, especially as Elena goes…
Sylvia: She gets blasted? [laughs quietly] 
Janine: Yeah, goes down, we're a little concerned. It’s getting a little bit bad. It’s, yeah, a little bit stressed.
Austin: Pointed eye contact, just to be— just for the listener. You're like, “Oh no.” Like, you make the sort of eye contact that’s like, you're both locked in on needing to solve this.
Janine: Yeah.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah.
Janine: It’s like, we're on the same wavelength. We need to, you know, Shinji and Asuka synchronize or whatever. [Sylvia snorts]
Austin: Which one’s the Shinji and which one’s the Asuka?
Janine: We don't need to get into that.
Austin: Okay, okay.
Sylvia: We don't need to get into that.
Janine: We don't need to worry about that.
Sylvia: That’s for the listener to decide.
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, of course.
Janine: Oh, wait. I can't do this, because I don't have 5 MP.
Austin: You don't have the MP. 
Janine: Right.
Sylvia: Oh.
Austin: Remember last turn when I was like, “You have 1 MP”? This is why I was signalling this.
Janine: I forgot. So I cannot do that. [Jack chuckles] What I can do is I can spend 2 IP to make an Elemental Shard, which is a thing I've never done before, but I have a thing that says, “Stay Down, I'll Take Care of This. When you create an Elemental Shard, you may have it deal extra damage equal to 5 plus half your level.” 
Austin: Where's that from?
Janine: That’s Efta and Zolfta, baby.
Austin: Oh my god. Wait, so are they the ones creating the Elemental Shards?
Sylvia: [quietly] They're Shinji and Asuka.
Janine: I think yes. [Jack laughs]
Austin: Yeah.
Janine: I don't know that that’s— The book, I think, leaves it open. But the thing is like, in my mind, I don't think Brontë knows Elemental Shard shit. Like, I've always kind of thought of like, it’s in the book, but I don't think that’s a thing he’s, like, into.
Austin: Yeah. The book specifically says they offer the following benefits.
Janine: Yeah.
Austin: So.
Janine: But it does also say, “When you create a shard,” but that’s…
Austin: Yeah, sure. Sure.
Janine: Did they mean you the player? I don't know.
Austin: Yes. Yeah, I see what you're saying.
Janine: Either way, I think the thing that’s happening here is definitely that Efta and Zolfta are making the shard because they're, you know, normally they like to hang back. They're in the mix more than they would like, and someone just went down.
Austin: Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
Janine: And Brontë’s also only at 11 HP. It’s a little bit dicey.
Austin: They just had that big moment too in their own beckonings where they decided to stick with the party.
Janine: Yeah. They sure did.
Austin: Instead of going to, like… So, them getting more active here is really fun.
Janine: Yeah. So, I'm going to spend that IP. They're going to make an electric one, the one that we said was good.
Austin: Mm-hmm. Yep.
Janine: And aim it at the bird.
Austin: All right. Does 20 damage. You spend your 2 IP.
Janine: 5 plus half your level, so that’s 11?
Austin: It doesn't matter.
Janine: Oh.
Austin: By default, it does 10, and then it doubles to 20, because it’s Weak. That is way more than enough to kill the hawk.
Janine: Oh. Well, then, it doesn't make sense for me to risk…well…
Austin: Well, you didn't know that.
Janine: [disappointed] I know. Yeah. I know.
Austin: I'm now telling you it. [chuckles] You can't take it back now that I've said it.
Janine: [resigned] I know. I'll roll Fatigue. [Sylvia chuckles]
Austin: It blows up. I mean it this time. It explodes into sparks and falls to the ground.
Janine: No takesies backsies?
Austin: No takesies backsies.
Janine: Okay.
Austin: It is gone. It is toast. Boom. Put a little X on it.
Janine: Oh, I want to describe them making the shard, because I…
Austin: Please. Yeah.
Janine: [laughs quietly] You know Dragon Ball Z, the fusion dance? It’s not quite like that, but it’s a little bit like that. [Sylvia gasps] Where I think it’s a thing where they are sort of, they stand side by side and, like, put their hands up, [a/ Mm-hmm.] kind of in mirrored Laura Palmer poses. [Austin and Sylvia snort]
Austin: Jesus. [Dre and Jack laugh]
Sylvia: Uh huh.
Janine: But you know, when Laura Palmer makes the pose where she’s like, “look at this!” 
Austin: Yeah.
Janine: Where it’s like, one hand’s kind of vertical, the other hand’s horizontal.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Janine: So it, like, makes a little triangle kind of thing, and the shard forms in that, in that space.
Austin: Cool.
Janine: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah.
Janine: I want to give them a moment. It’s fine.
Austin: Yeah, I like it. I love that. And they blast this damn bird out of the sky. The flower, which is the only other thing that can go this turn, attempts to shoot back at you with the Shadow Cast ability again. It’s a ranged attack. It misses with 11.
Janine: Thank god.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Janine: That’s the exact number it would take to kill me or to knock me out, so.
Austin: Caoimhe and Veile, you are both up, because they can't go anymore this turn.
Sylvia: All right. Veile, did you want to go first, or should I?
Ali: I'm just casting Heal, so I can just do that.
Sylvia: That would be great.
Ali: Three targets is 50 each for each of us.
Austin: Whew.
Ali: I have a thing called Healing Power, which is, “When you cast a spell that targets one more more allies, if you have an arcane weapon equipped, you may have one of each of those allies recover an amount of Hit Points equal to HL multiplied by the number of Bonds you have.” And that’s not Bonds between each other?
Austin: Wow, it’s just total Bonds. That’s cool.
Sylvia: Wow.
Janine: That’s sweet.
Ali: Yeah.
Janine: That’s cute. 
Ali: So whoever needs an extra 6? 5? HP.
Janine: I think 50’s going to— I don't want to speak—
Sylvia: 50’s going to top me off completely.
Janine: I mean, yeah, I was going to say. [laughs quietly] 
Ali: Yeah, 50’s…
Janine: Me and Caoimhe have more or less the same stats, and 50’s going to top me out, so.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Ali: My max is 45, [laughs] so 50 is good enough for me.
Janine: Yeah, that’s fine.
Austin: So it sounds like everybody’s getting max HP.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: Except for Elena, who’s knocked out. 
Sylvia: [laughs quietly] Sorry, Elena.
Austin: Sorry, Elena.
Jack: [sighs] I'm used to it. It’s fine.
Austin: That means, Caoimhe, you're up.
Sylvia: All right. So, everybody’s active. Everybody’s still up except for the hawk, yeah?
Austin: The hawk is gone. The turrets can't fire this turn but can next turn, and the flower has gone already.
Sylvia: Okay.
Austin: Yeah.
Sylvia: I'm going to— Okay, it’s going to be the turret on the right.
Austin: Wow, you did the 1d3! You're rolling to see who the target is! [Jack laughs]
Keith: Whoa!
Sylvia: Yeah.
Jack: That’s a power move.
Austin: It is.
Sylvia: I'm the GM now. I'm going to Elemental Shard here.
Austin: Oh, you're using an Elemental Shard. Okay.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Zap. Toast. Boom. Dead. What’s your—? Are you also—? You're not going to steal their swag. You're not going to do the whatever dance, the fusion dance, the Laura Palmer dance.
Sylvia: Nah, I'm just throwing this thing.
Austin: You're just throwing it. You're, like, reaching into a pouch or something and producing a shard.
Sylvia: Yeah. Nothing fancy here.
Austin: All right.
Sylvia: I did my maneuver earlier with my spell orb, and it didn't work out, so.
Austin: Yeah. It is toast. 
Round Five [0:12:10]
Austin: And we move into round five, which unfortunately means no bonus XP from this fight.
Sylvia: Eh, that's okay.
Austin: You were very close to killing these guys for many rounds, unfortunately. But it’s your turn again. Like, top of the order, whatever order you want, as always.
Ali: I can shard, because I have the MP, the IP to spend, I mean. I have 3.
Sylvia: Sure.
Ali: Veile looking across the room and realizing that this is the new…
Austin: The new meta? Yeah.
Sylvia: The new meta. [Ali laughs quietly]
Austin: Yep. What are you targeting?
Ali: Ooh. I guess the turret closest to me?
Austin: Yeah, that makes sense. Do you also have some Elemental Shards just in your bag ready to go, or is there a ritual component spell thing that you're doing to, like, get the effect? 
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: You know what I mean? Yeah.
Ali: I mean, I'm using IP for it, [Austin: Mm-hmm.] so it feels like it’s just a thing that was in her bag.
Austin: Yeah. That makes sense. Cool. 
Ali: Just kind of…
Jack: We don't have servants to make things for us.
Austin: I see. I see, I see. It’s different. I got you, I got you. All right. You zap it. 20 damage is more than enough, and the other turret drops. That leaves this final flower, which is going to attempt to flee, is going to attempt to escape the zone and go towards that northern hallway where its presumed master fled before. Its action is going to be to try to attempt to flee. Are you going to try to let it flee?
Sylvia: No!
Austin: Okay. 
Janine: I'm going to—
Austin: Well, you went this turn.
Sylvia: This thing helped knock out our friend. Did I go this turn?
Austin: Didn't you just zap it?
Janine: I didn't shoot an arrow.
Sylvia: I thought I—
Austin: Okay.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Caoimhe, you went last turn. That was your final thing. I see, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sylvia: Yeah, I couldn't remember.
Austin: I didn't type the fifth round thing. Are you going to try to shoot it, Brontë?
Janine: Yeah. Why not?
Austin: Give me a roll. Yeah, yeah.
Janine: Uh…Heartbreaker. 11.
Austin: Crushed it. 11 hits. 18 damage is more than enough. It also falls to the ground.
[“Triumph in the Depths (Dungeon Combat Ends)” by Jack de Quidt plays]
Post-Conflict [0:14:25]
Austin: I'd say everyone should take 250 in asta here. There is, like, that much in interesting weird spare parts that you can flip, and we don't have to worry about doing that, you know, in the next—
Sylvia: There's no people in the spare parts.
Austin: That’s right. There's no people in the spare parts.
Sylvia: So we don't have to worry about it.
Austin: Uh huh. I'm just going to give it to you straight up. You know, the raw materials are enough.
Janine: What about IP?
Jack: Do I get that too? Or am I…?
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.
Jack: Okay, cool.
Austin: 250.
Sylvia: It’d be fucked up if we stole your cut while you were asleep, yeah.
Austin: That would be really— yeah, you wake up as this happens. You're in the diner booth. You're next to the diner booth.
Janine: Efta and Zolfta are looking over you. [laughs quietly] 
Austin: Yeah.
Janine: One is fanning you.
Austin: Aw. [chuckles] You do also get a…one second. Where’d it go, where’d it go, where’d it go? You get a spell orb from the body of the hawk. You get an orb for a spell called Occult Dampener, and it is a spell that you can use. 
Jack: Hmm.
Austin: It has a single target. Or, sorry, it has the self as a single target. I'll just drop it in here. One second. Occult Dampener orb. Until the spell ends, when a spell deals damage to the orb’s user, that damage is halved. There you go, so you get one of these.
Jack: Oh, it’s Desperation.
Austin: It’s Desperation. Yeah. But as an orb.
Jack: Who wants this?
Sylvia: I feel like one of the, like… You guys have less Defense. I feel like it’s one of y'all. 
Jack: Yes. You took that time to make the healing spell, so I'm happy to give that to you, Ali, to defray the cost of…
Ali: No, I mean, I have something kind of similar to this, which is Mirror, which is like a bounce back effect.
Austin: Oh, true.
Ali: But I think, I mean, like, Veile would let Elena keep that too, in like a…
Jack: Oh, sure. Consolation?
Austin: Aw.
Ali: As you're being, like, fussed over by Efta, Zolfta, and now Veile. Like, trying to hand it to her and like, “No,” like putting her hand on your and pushing it back towards you.
Austin: Yeah. 
Jack: Aww.
Austin: Oh, also, everyone can take 2 IP from their remains.
Ali: Oh, sure.
Sylvia: Ooh.
Jack: Oh, nice.
Austin: There's all sorts of weird stuff in there that is explicitly,  you know, on a long enough— as you pick through the remains— you know, maybe not. Maybe none of you understand this stuff enough. I'm thinking about who you are. 
Sylvia: Oh. Should I not…?
Austin: If Jonathan was here, maybe even Antistrophe, you might be able to learn something about, like… You learned the thing that I already said before, right? Which is like, these things have been modified to use spell orbs somehow, which is not their natural state, but I think beyond that you're not sure what’s going on.
Janine: So is that a 2 or is that not? [Jack chuckles]
Sylvia: So we're not get…?
Austin: Yeah, you're taking the 2 IP.
Janine: Okay.
Sylvia: Okay.
Austin: You're just not learning about what is happening. You're not learning what’s going on in there, in their innards, you know?
Sylvia: Oh, you know what? I should have… So I've marked that I want to use an elixir here. Could I have prepped a spell before I do that, though?
Austin: Sure. Yeah.
Sylvia: Okay. I'm going to just prep a Flare spell really quick.
Austin: So you're going to roll it and then save it.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Sounds good.
Sylvia: 11, 36.
Austin: You know, write it down. That’s how the game— that’s how this world works, you know?
Sylvia: Yeah.
Janine: I am going to drink an elixir also.
Austin: Fair.
Ali: Mm…
Austin: Yes?
Ali: I guess there's no way to know. I was going to— eh. I was wondering if Dispel would work on these things.
Austin: On which things?
Ali: Well, I mean, the combat is already over.
Austin: Yep.
Ali: And I guess Veile could have done it on one that’s, like, broken as a test.
Austin: As a test, yeah.
Ali: But “You release a negative wave of energy and cleanse all magic from a creature.”
Austin: That’s interesting. It would have definitely— okay. It definitely would have turned off their air barriers, right, that the hawk set up for them.
Ali: Okay, yeah.
Austin: Right, it would have lowered their difficulty. I think I would let you use that as an attack instead of— like, it’s not an attack. Or is it an attack? Do you have to roll for it? I don't remember how this spell works.
Ali: It’s instantaneous, but it’s not like it has a damage thing. It just says that they lose all their magic.
Austin: It does it. Yeah, you don't have to roll for it.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: So I would say you would have to roll for it, but if you succeeded, I like the idea that you can erase any spells they have prepped.
Ali: Okay.
Austin: That’s really fun. Yeah. If you happen to find yourself in a place like this again with these rules, you know?
Ali: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Austin: And maybe you will. 
Gallery of Agonies [0:19:08]
The Painting
Austin: Back in, it says here, the Gallery of Agonies is what I've written down. Where are y'all at? You're investigating the artwork. This little painting has asked you if you're good people.
Keith: I was speaking to this painting, [Austin: Yeah.] and the painting was like, “I hope you're not like those soldiers,” and we saw the…
Austin: Yeah. That’s right. Yes.
Keith: The soldiers were also in the painting, right?
Austin: No, the soldiers were outside the very real window in the courtyard that you can see.
Dre: Mm.
Keith: Oh, the soldiers were in, like, the courtyard.
Austin: Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah.
Keith: Across the void.
Austin: The painting is just, like, all dark except for a— it’s a painting of a room. It’s like a Munch? Is that how you pronounce his name? Munch? Munch? Like the…
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah? Okay.
Sylvia: I think it’s Munch.
Jack: I think it’s Munch.
Austin: Like a Munch painting but of a kid with very long arms hidden behind a blanket, who’s asked you if you're good people, and you've said yeah. You going to pick back up there, Keith?
Keith: Sure, yeah.
(as Antistrophe): Who were you talking to?
[“Enter The Agonies” by Jack de Quidt begins playing]
Austin (as painting): You.
Keith (as Antistrophe): No, before, when you said you told them that we weren't like the soldiers.
Austin (as painting): Oh, my friends. The other Agonies.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Each one is an Agony? Each one of the paintings is an Agony? Or the artworks?
Austin: Nods, yeah, and then looks around the room, like, eyes slowly, you know, kind of panning across the room and looking at each thing. Looks at the— oh, I did skip one. I skipped a really important one. I skipped the one that’s first in my list, but I skipped it, because I was like, “I don't want to do it in the order I've written down in the list,” [eagerly] so I'm going to start with this one, which means I get to tell you there's one more statue in the room, and I—
Keith: Can we have just noticed it? Can we have—?
Austin: Yes, because it’s been below your line of sight the whole time, so actually, let me end on it, because I think it’ll be funnier to go through the full list. Starts by looking at the ceramic pot with the little angry red devil cherub on it, and says,
(as painting): Ira.
Austin: Looks at the television that’s doing the kind of weird montage, and says,
(as painting): Connie.
Austin: Looks at the music box, the giant human-sized ballerina music box, and says,
(as painting): Miss Mephitic. She often says just to call her Mephi, but I call her Miss Mephitic.
Austin: And then looks at the piano and says,
(as painting): Hezzi. They're shy.
Dre: [imitating Wan] Sick handle, though.
Austin: Yeah. [chuckles] And then looks somewhere you haven't seen yet and looks down, and you turn, and your sight kind of goes down, and you see a little knee-high statue of an elephant man smoking a pipe, [Jack laughs] and he says, 
(as painting): And Melo. 
Keith: [laughs] I hope mellow describes what’s in the pipe.
[song ends]
Austin: You'd have to go talk to Melo about that.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin (as painting): They don't trust people.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Why are you the Agonies?
Austin (as painting): That’s just what we are. Don't you have agonies sometimes?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Sure, but I never am an agony.
Austin (as painting): Well, that’s us.
Keith (as Antistrophe): You're the agony I am?
Austin (as painting): Well, I'm the agony you get.
Dre: Did we get the painting’s name?
Austin: You did not.
Dre: Okay.
Keith (as Antistrophe): What’s your name?
Austin (as painting): Wan.
Austin: Like W-A-N, or like Juan the name but spelled W-A-N instead of J-U-A-N.
Keith: Yeah, but spelled W-A-N.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: Hmm.
Austin (as Wan): Do you have anything to eat? I'm sooo hungry.
Keith (as Antistrophe): That’s a great— I do actually have something to eat.
Austin (as Wan): Could you feed it to me?
Dre: Wait. Wait. No. No. Wait. No. If this ghost is hungry, we should have our chef make something for them.
Austin: That went a different way than I thought it was going.
Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also thought…
Austin: I thought you were like, “Don't feed the ghost! It could go bad!” and then you, like…
Keith: Don't feed the ghost. I also thought…
Dre: No, you should absolutely feed the ghost! That poor kid.
Keith: Yeah, I think that we should feed the ghost. I was just going to give it an Oasis Fig.
Austin: Mm.
Keith: Which does, by the way, it cures an ailment.
Austin: That’s, uh, okay.
Keith: Cures Poisoned, Shaken, Weak, or Slow, the Oasis Fig.
Janine: That seems like it would kill him.
Dre: Oh, yeah. [Janine laughs]
Keith: Don't say that, Janine. It does seem like that.
Janine: That fig would kill that little painting kid. Sorry. 
Austin: I think it would kill him. I'm glad you said that out loud, because my mind was it would hurt this poor kid.
Dre: Yeah, let’s give a Phoenix Down to the ghost and see what happens. [laughs] 
Austin: That’s right. Literally.
Keith: I guess we shouldn't kill the Agony with an Oasis Fig and instead we should let our chef cook up something.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Keith: I just thought it’d maybe make him feel better for a minute.
Art: The problem is I have an ingredient deficiency. I have, like, one salty, two sour, one sweet, one umami. If I make something with ingredients for this ghost, we're in trouble in the future, maybe.
Austin: So no food for the ghost.
Art: Because I can make this ghost a jellyfish wrapped in seaweed, which I think is what all ghost…children?
Austin: Child ghost. 
Art: This appears to be a child, yeah.
Austin: Yeah, childlike ghost.
Art: That’s what all children want to eat.
Keith: All ghosts and children want to eat jellyfish wrapped in seaweed.
Austin: Right.
Art: Or I guess tamarind and starfruit. That’s something a kid could like.
Ali: Mmm.
Dre: Yeah.
Art: Do I have…? Is that sweet?
Keith: I think an Agony would want to eat the jellyfish seaweed.
Art: And the sweet and sour will increase a resistance until the end of my next turn.
Janine: You could ask what he wants to eat.
Ali: Whoa.
Art: Sure, yeah. 
(as Nicky): What would you like to eat?
Austin (as Wan): What do you have?
Art (as Nicky): Well, I have some jellyfish.
Austin (as Wan): Yum!
Art (as Nicky): And some rhubarb.
Austin (as Wan): Blech.
Art (as Nicky): Some tamarind.
Austin (as Wan): What’s that?
Art (as Nicky): Um…
Keith (as Antistrophe): Like a sweet fruit.
Art (as Nicky): Yeah, it’s like a— well, it’s a sour fruit.
Janine: Looks like a poop.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Sweet and sour. I guess it depends on how ripe it is.
Art: Uh, certainly couldn't tell you how long ago I wrote this down. [Austin laughs] 
(as Nicky): I have some starfruit.
Austin (as Wan): Is that like starfish?
Art (as Nicky): No, it’s nothing like starfish.
Austin (as Wan): Why do they have the same name?
Art (as Nicky): And I have some seaweed.
Austin (as Wan): Yeah!
Art (as Nicky): All right, so you're a seafood fan.
Austin (as Wan): I've never had it.
Art (as Nicky): Okay. 
Art: So I'll prepare some jellyfish wrapped in seaweed.
Austin: And what’s this do? What’s the mechanic of this? The type of—
Art: Well, I already know salty umami. The target cannot perform the spell action during their next turn.
Austin: Oh. Okay. What? Wait, what? They can perform the spell action?
Ali: Can't.
Art: They cannot perform the spell action.
Austin: Oh, you're like— I see. 
Dre: Mm.
Austin: Okay. That’s pretty funny. Okay.
Art: But that’s, like, not on purpose. That’s just…
Austin: How it goes.
Art: I'm actually not sure if I can— if these are optional. If I can just say, like, “Well, that doesn't apply here.”
Austin: No, let’s use it. It’s funny. It’ll be funny for a second.
Art: All right.
Austin: How do you—? You bring the jellyfish wrapped in seaweed up to the painting?
Art: Yeah.
Austin: All right. His face gets closer and closer to the front of the painting, but like, he doesn't get out of bed, you know? Just his neck gets longer.
Art: So it’s like a zoom?
Austin: No.
Art: Oh, neck gets longer. Oh, that’s worse.
Austin: His neck gets longer, like a long tendrilly neck as it pushes closer and closer, and then he opens up his mouth waaay tooo wide.
Art: Oh.
Austin: Now you can see his face also.
Art: Great.
Austin: In fact, I think he starts to crawl out from under the blanket, so you can kind of see that he has, like, a… If he was standing next to you, he would be, like, waist high.
Dre: Mm.
Austin: But his arms are too long, and his legs are too long. He has basically no torso. He has a little tiny baby nothing torso but has really long arms and legs. His arms almost touch the ground. And his face looks kind of like a mask. His eyes are like little black angular holes, and he has a little frowny face mouth, but he just starts opening that mouth and opening and opening until it’s as big as his head, and he goes,
(as Wan): Aaaah.
Art: [cautiously] And I, like, put it in the painting? [Keith laughs]
Austin: Yeah. And then one of his hands comes up through the painting to eat it and to hold it in place as he chomps his teeth down around it, and he swallows it whole. Art, you fed him, right? So you can, at this point, add this to your spells: A Chill Air. It costs 10 mana. It can target up to three targets. It’s instantaneous. Wan coughs and the temperature in the room drops low. The targets suffer HR plus 15 ice damage. Opportunity: Each target hit by this spell suffers Weak. He is like a little temporary summon for you. You have recruited Wan, the Agony of weakness and ice.
Art: Great. I'm just going to put this in the Discoveries section of my sheet.
Austin: [laughs] Okay. Yeah, that’s fair. [Jack chuckles] He is now standing next to you and, like, reaches up to hold your hand.
Dre: Oh, like he climbed out of the painting?
Austin: Oh, he’s out of the painting now. Oh yeah. Yeah, he crawls out of the frame. Yes, Janine. Janine says, “Welcome to the SMT dimension.” You're in Imago. We've seen a little bit of this before. I believe, Elena, you got haunted by this place. You have the gem from this place, and…
Jack: Oh god, this place sucks.
Austin: Yeah, this place is a nightmare.
Jack: [chuckles] Yeah.
Keith: I don't know, it seems okay. We got a nice little Agony.
Austin: The Agonies, in my mind, are sort of… because they're not as similar in style, or they're not the same sort of repetitions on a theme of, like, Jack Frost in Persona or Fleggs in Perpetua, but the Six Agonies are, like, recurring characters in the Imago games, you know? You know, “Are the Agonies—? I can't wait for the Agonies to show up!” You know, they're like low level Imago that you can summon, basically.
Jack: Wasn't Violet Caliban an artist?
Austin: Yeah. Imago is a world about art, is a game about…
Jack: And sometimes the art is evil.
Austin: The art is how magic happens. The art is tied to magic and power and summoning and psychology, you know?
Jack: Right.
Art: And Wan is just going to, like, hang out [cross] for the rest of all of our lives?
Austin: [cross] For now. I think— Well, no. No. [Jack chuckles] Because as we'll— I think let’s keep having the conversation. Imago says— sorry, not Imago. Wan, the Imago, says to you— and also, I know that it’s ih-MAY-go, but I like saying ih-MAH-go more. I'm going to keep saying it.
Art: I think you should.
Austin: I'm gonna. Says, 
(as Wan): If you can convince the others to help, they could help you. You see, we don't like it here in this gallery. We used to be able to run around this whole castle, until the soldiers came.
Art (as Nicky): Okay. Let’s see what these other, uh…
Austin (as Wan): Agonies.
Art (as Nicky): Agonies want.
Dre (as Jonathan): You got any recommendations on who we should start with?
Austin: Shakes his head.
Art: It just feels rude to call people agonies. I know that…
Keith: He called himself an Agony. 
Art: Yeah.
Austin: He’s happy to be the Agonies, one of the Agonies.
Keith: He’s happy to be the Agony.
Art: All right. I mean…
Dre: It’s important for cultures to reclaim terms, Art.
Art: Sure.
Austin: Yeah. He wipes his mouth with the blanket, and this isn't going to happen, but for the next turn, he cannot cast A Chill Air because of what you fed him, [Keith chuckles] but we're not in turns, so he can cast it for you, but you know, just not yet, you know?
Melo [0:31:00]
Keith: I'm just going to crouch down and look at Melo, the smoking elephant.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Yeah, the smoking elephant’s the best one. No offense to the others.
Keith: And say, 
(as Antistrophe): Oh, excuse me.
Austin: Nothing happens.
Dre: Hmm.
Austin: It’s just a statue, as far as you can tell.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Your friend Wan told us about the soldiers.
Austin: Not a damn thing.
Dre: What was this one called? Is this Hezzi?
Austin: This is Melo.
Keith: This is Melo.
Dre: Melo.
Austin: Yeah.
Dre (as Jonathan): Melo! Hello!
Austin: Nothing.
Dre (as Jonathan): Wan, you got any ideas?
Austin (as Wan): Mm-mm.
Dre (as Jonathan): Mm…
Dre: I'm going to try to pick it up. Is it heavy?
Austin: Oh, it’s heavy. Like, you can move it a little bit, [Dre: Okay.] but it’s hard. You know, you could do a Might Check to lift it.
Dre: No, I think I try to do it, and then I do the thing where it’s like, you try to lift something heavy and you realize you can't, so you just kind of, like, roll it to the side a little bit so it’s moved, like, an inch.
Austin: Mm-hmm. Are you investigating it in any way, or you're just trying to move it around?
Dre: I was just trying to move it around, but I think that is also a good excuse for a Study roll.
Austin: Yeah, give me a Study roll.
Dre: Because maybe after Jonathan puts it down, he then is poking and prodding at it.
Austin: Yeah. See how the roll goes. That is a 4.
Dre: Ooh, a 2 and a 2.
Austin: 2 and a 2. Not quite a fumble but close.
Dre: No.
Keith: No.
Dre: I don't think I'm going to Fabula that, because I've only got the one. Well, how many Fabula Points have we spent today?
Austin: Four so far, I believe. So three more, you get an XP.
Dre: All right. I'm going to Fabula Point it.
Austin: Yep. Rerolling Study. That is a 7.
Dre: Ugh. 7.
Austin: 7 is the lowest possible success, but it’s still a success on a Study, because it’s open-ended. You note that the pipe is made of something different than the statue. The pipe is, you know, like a classic… What are pipes…? Pipes are made of wood, right? What type of wood?
Keith: Briar wood?
Austin: Briar, thank you.
Jack: Clay?
Austin: It’s a briar pipe. That’s exactly what I'm imagining. Whereas the body is like a stone, like a carved stone statue.
Dre: Oh. Can I pick up the pipe separate of the statue? Like, is it…?
Austin: It takes some wiggling to get it out of Melo’s hands, but you can.
Dre: Hmm. I'm kind of wondering if the pipe is Melo instead of the statue. Is there anything in the pipe?
Austin: There is. There's some—
Keith: Is it a tiny little guy?
Austin: No. [Keith laughs] There are some leaves in there. There are some crushed up leaves in there.
Dre: Oh boy. Is this another chance to do a Study, or because I only got a 7, I don't…?
Austin: You've done your Study. You've done your Study here.
Dre: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. [chuckles] 
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: I could do my Study here.
Austin: I think you could help Jonathan with Study. Jonathan did the Study here, you know? You could contribute.
Keith: Okay.
Austin: You could jump in, but we should build on that Study.
Dre: Yeah.
Keith: Okay. We can't get the 7 to a 10, which is the next…
Dre: No.
Austin: You could, if you had the Bonds for it.
Keith: I guess we should.
Dre: Mm.
Art: I must.
Dre: Yeah. I know we have at least a level 1. 
Keith: I don't have a Bond with Jonathan. Nicky will. 
Dre: I think you have a level 2, Nicky?
Art: I have a level 2.
Dre: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah, so Nicky, if you succeeded, you would add 3 to the roll, which would get it up to a 10.
Art: All right. Why don't we do that, then? What just happened there? Nevermind. This is not my strongest…
Austin: So you are looking for a 10. Hey, that’s an 11.
Dre: Woo!
Keith: 11, nice.
Austin: So that’s plus 1 from the success, plus 2 for the Bonds. What are the Bonds, again? What are…?
Art: Loyalty and Affection.
Austin: Aww. Yeah. 
Art: Yeah. Bonds.
Austin: Yeah. You can see that the pipe, the stuff in the pipe has been smoked recently, but like… Like, this is a pipe that’s in use. This is a pipe that people smoke, someone smokes.
Dre: Mm.
Austin: This little guy smokes this damn pipe.
Jack: And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Austin: And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. [Keith chuckles]
Dre: Yeah. So this is…
Keith: People will try. People will try to tell you that the elephant doesn't smoke the pipe, but he does.
Austin: He does.
Dre: The leaves that are in here have been smoked?
Austin: They're not all the way smoked. They—
Dre: Okay. Okay.
Art: If an elephant smoked a pipe, would they smoke it like this or like this?
Dre: Hmm.
Austin: [laughs] Great question! In my mind, it’s under the trunk. It’s in the mouth, not in the…
Art: In the mouth. Yeah.
Dre: Ohh.
Austin: But maybe I'm wrong about that.
Keith: I think it’s dealer’s choice, per elephant.
Austin: Per elephant.
Jack: Trunk completely horizontal, straight out, pipe at the end of the trunk.
Austin: Okay, wait, wait, wait. What if—
Dre: One in each nostril. [Jack laughs]
Austin: What if the trunk is, like, wrapped down and around like a loop, and, you know, he’s holding it up to the trunk?
Dre: Ooh.
Art: Oh.
Janine: The thing is, I think the answer’s different if it’s a pipe or cigarette, right? Because if it was a cigarette, you would want the trunk to be a hand so you could get the, like, pointed part at the end of the trunk like a finger to ash the cigarette.
Austin: Oh, sure. Yeah.
Janine: Like, that would be kind of cool, and then you put it back in the mouth. But for a pipe, you don't ash like that, so like…
Austin: Just put it in there. It looks more dignified.
Janine: Yeah, I don't know.
Austin: Yeah. And you like, kind of— yeah. It’s like a mouthfeel thing.
Keith: If I were an elephant, I would hold the bowl of the pipe in my trunk and use that to bring it to my mouth.
Austin: Interesting. Interesting.
Keith: That’s how I would do it, if I was an elephant.
Austin: This is a great personality quiz. [Dre laughs] Anyway, you know that with the—
Dre: Yeah, fuck the Meyers Briggs.
Austin: Yeah, that’s right. Yeah, how do you smoke the pipe if you're an elephant?
Keith: I'm a Trunk Hand Mouth Smoke.
Austin: I see. [chuckles] 
Keith: Or THMS. [laughter] 
Austin: So, yeah. You know that. Smokable pipe.
Dre: Okay. I want to—
Keith: Wan has not been a lot of help with any of the other Agonies, [Dre: Well…] but can I ask Wan one more question here? 
(as Antistrophe): Which part of this is Melo?
Austin: Points with one long arm to the statue.
Dre: Okay.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: Okay. Great. Confirmed.
Dre: I want to put the pipe back, and then I want to try to light it for Melo.
Austin: Okay. You light it. It doesn't, you've just put a pipe into a statue. It’s holding the pipe.
Dre: Okay. Well.
Austin: And it’s burning a little bit, but there's no inhaling, so it’s not, like, burning. No one’s adding oxygen to it rapidly in the way that would burn it down.
Dre: Right. Yeah. I think Jonathan, like, looks back at Nicky and Antistrophe, shrugs, and goes,
(as Jonathan): Welp, I don't know.
Art (as Nicky): I liked that idea a lot.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah, sure. Part of me, I mean, my only other move here for Melo would be to try and smoke some of that pipe.
Dre (as Jonathan): Ohhh. It has been a pretty stressful day, huh?
Keith: Hold on a sec. We're doing live foley.
Austin: Uh huh.
[sound of striking match]
Keith: Did we get that?
Austin: We got that. Was that you lighting a match?
Dre: Match?
Austin: Yeah, okay.
Keith: [chuckles] I have a matchbook, yep. Lit a match. And I have some of the pipe and see if it triggers a reaction at all.
Austin: Describe to me what your experience of smoking this pipe is like. And first of all, take the Slow…take Slow.
Keith: Take Slow. Okay.
Austin: Yeah. You do feel slow. You know, you take a few pulls on this thing. It enters you. It’s warm.
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Austin: It’s calming. 
Keith: Okay.
Austin: The entire exercise is calming.
Keith: Does the smoke burn at all?
Austin: A little, but it’s…
Keith: Okay.
Austin: It’s like a low burn, not a high burn. It’s not up in your esophagus, do you know—? It’s not burn, it’s like warm, [Keith: Mm-hmm.] so it’s low lung warm not esophageal burn, you know?
Keith: Great. Okay.
Austin: If it was tea, you would really feel its qi, you know what I mean? 
Keith: Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.
Austin: You know, it’s in there, and so. But what do you do? What’s your—? You take a pull, you take—?
Keith: I use my trunk.
Austin: Oh, okay.
Keith: And bring it to my mouth. [Austin, Dre, and Keith laugh]
Austin: This whole time, Antistrophe! In the first episode, Keith said Antistrophe was a little elephant guy, and we all forgot!
Keith: Yeah. We all forgot, yep. [Art and Austin laugh] I think I just, yeah, I just smoke it normally like a pipe. I think I'm a little bit surprised at the, you know, speed of the effects of smoking a little bit of whatever the hell is in here, and I'm just sort of watching and waiting to see if there's anything that happens with the statue.
Austin: It takes about a minute, but then the statue slowly looks up at you and says,
(as Melo): [sounding chill and drowsy] Hey.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Hey.
Austin (as Melo): Who are you?
Keith (as Antistrophe): My name is Antistrophe.
Austin (as Melo): I'm Melo.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Hey, Melo.
Dre (as Jonathan): I think you're both pretty mellow right now.
Austin (as Melo): Heh. So you know Wan already, huh?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Uh huh.
Austin (as Melo): Cool.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah.
Austin (as Melo): [cross] Can, I, um, the pipe?
Keith (as Antistrophe): [cross] We thought— yeah, here.
Austin (as Melo): Yeah, thanks. [Sylvia laughs]
Keith (as Antistrophe): We thought maybe we were going to help out with the soldiers, maybe?
Austin (as Melo): Yeah, that sounds…that sounds cool.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Wan says we gotta get all of your friends on board.
Austin (as Melo): Uh…yeah, sure.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Do you know how to, like, do that? With the others?
Austin (as Melo): Well, we used to…we used to hang out all through this castle, so we kind of know this place inside and out, you know?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah. Uh huh. I think mostly we're trying to get through the door to get to where the soldiers are.
Austin (as Melo): You can convince the other ones to let you through the door, I'm cool with it.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Okay. You don't have any, like, advice or anything?
Austin (as Melo): You just gotta be cool. Like, I think you're cool, but you gotta, like, you know.
Keith (as Antistrophe): They each have to think that?
Austin (as Melo): Yeah.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Okay.
Austin (as Melo): Different people.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah.
Austin (as Melo): Different, you know?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Strokes.
Austin (as Melo): Who are they? [Austin chuckles]
Keith (as Antistrophe): It’s just a saying.
Austin (as Melo): Is that a band?
Keith (as Antistrophe): No, I don't think so.
Austin (as Melo): Oh, okay.
Keith (as Antistrophe): I've never heard of anything like that.
Austin: The New York indie scene of the early 2000s hasn't happened yet, so.
Dre: Different smokes for different folks I think is the…
Keith: Was that Melo that said that? [laughs] 
Austin (as Melo): Different smokes for different folks.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah. Yeah.
Art (as Nicky): Oh. 
Austin: [chuckles] Jack says, “Meanwhile, in the Fortunate Isle Tropical Bar: gunshot, gunshot, gunshot, wind blast, gunshot, scream, gunshot, gunshot.” [Keith chuckles]
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah, well, last time, the other side had a big party, so.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: It’s true.
Sylvia: Yeah. Uh, I was not there for that.
Austin: No. It’s true. [Keith laughs]
Sylvia: I kind of seem to be bringing the violence with me. [Austin chuckles]
Dre: Mm.
Art: Yeah. 
Jack: That’s the role of the police. [Sylvia cackles]
Art: This is basically our masquerade ball, but Jonathan got to go twice.
Dre: To both, yeah, mm-hmm.
Austin: Yeah. Yeah.
Art: Yeah, and…
Dre: I bring the chill.
Austin (as Melo): You bring the chill. I like that about you, big man. 
Dre (as Jonathan): Hell yeah, brother.
Art: We need to convince this elephant to come with us.
Austin: Oh, he does. You've just done that.
Art: I simply won't leave this— 
Austin: It’s done.
Art: Okay, great.
Austin: Melo is going to join you. Go ahead, Antistrophe. You can't cast magic, right? But Melo can.
Keith: Correct, yeah. Oh, nice.
Austin: Melo has the ability Trumpet Toss. Melo wakes up and releases blasts of air from his trunk, sending you flying across the battlefield. You may immediately perform a free attack with a melee weapon you have equipped. This attack may target creatures that can normally only be targeted by ranged attacks. If you use a weapon belonging to the Brawling or Spear category for this attack, it deals 5 extra damage. If you hit a flying target with this attack, you may immediately force them to land.
Keith: That’s so useful for me.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Yeah.
Austin: And at this point, now I've read this, Melo’s like,
(as Melo): I'm gonna…I’m gonna just nod off for a little bit. Cool? 
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah, no worries.
Austin: And like, you see him start to like climb up onto something, and it becomes like a little cloud bed, and he leans over on the cloud bed and dozes off.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Oh. Whoa.
Dre (as Jonathan): [impressed] Man.
Austin: But is like flying, like hovering right next to you.
Dre (as Jonathan): I gotta figure out how he does that.
Keith: And Riant.
Austin: Yeah, and Riant’s here too. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. You got two little flying guys right now.
Janine: This guy’s got Moomin energy.
Keith: Can Riant help Melo light his pipe?
Austin: Riant could— yeah, but he’s sleeping now, so.
Keith: In general, I mean.
Austin: Yeah, probably. For sure.
Keith: Yeah.
Jack: “He’s sleeping now” about Melo, by the way, is the same tactic that Art takes when Art’s baby wants to read the same book, like, 15 or 16 times. [laughter] 
Art: Yeah, it turns out that after you read a book three times, the book needs to take a rest. 
Sylvia: Aww.
Art: The book needs to nap.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: Oh, the book needs to nap. Yeah.
Art: She’s buying it, so no one…
Keith: Everyone needs to nap, even books.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: No one wreck this for me. [Jack chuckles]
Austin: So we got two down.
Keith: I don't have, like, open lines of communication with your baby like that, so I think you're safe. [Austin chuckles]
Austin: We got two down. We got four weird art pieces to go.
Connie [0:44:04]
Dre: Kind of interested in this TV.
Austin: So, again, I'll go over them.
Art: Yeah.
Austin: TV. Big human-sized ballerina music box. Ceramic pot with a little angry red devil cherub on it.
Art: I'll do that one next.
Austin: And the piano that’s playing itself. So you want to do the ceramic? You're looking at the ceramic pot?
Art: No, no. I was going to let…
Austin: Let Dre.
Art: Yeah, Dre hasn't done one, so let Jonathan do it, unless…
Austin: Yeah, let Jonathan have a little shot. Yeah, Jonathan, you want to look at the TV?
Dre: Yeah, and this is Ira?
Austin: This is not Ira. This is Connie.
Dre: Okay. I must have started writing all the names down in the wrong order when you started listing them, because I've got them all wrong.
Austin: I see. Ira is the ceramic pot.
Dre: Okay.
Austin: Connie is the TV.
Dre: Gotcha. Okay.
Austin: There's like a fuzzy screen that— it’s as if a— in fact, there is a thing that you have never seen before that you or I would know is a VHS player.
Dre: Mm.
Austin: But it’s kind of—
Dre (as Jonathan): Hello!
Austin: You know, it’s flipping through channels, or not channels, but it’s doing this montage thing, right?
Dre: Yeah.
Austin: Repeatedly moving through images. There's some fishing is happening. Someone’s on a boat doing some fishing.
Dre: Mm.
Austin: One of those fishermen hats on. It turns to, like, a video that we would recognize as live footage or recorded footage from a Renaissance fair or a Medieval Times maybe, an advertisement.
Dre: Yeah.
Austin: It is weird to see a thing that just projects, but like, I don't know, you've seen some other screens and devices at this point throughout this dungeon, so maybe it’s less weird.
Dre: Yeah, we were in a fucking spaceship.
Austin: You were in the spaceship. That’s true. You weren't in the spaceship, Jonathan. The other side was.
Dre: Yeah, I was. Wasn't I?
Austin: No, wasn't the other—?
Dre: Other side was? Okay.
Austin: Other side was.
Keith: No, you were at the party.
Austin: You were at the party.
Dre: No, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right.
Austin: Yeah. So this is new for you, to some degree.
Dre: Okay.
Keith: You also didn't see the computer at that store.
Austin: That’s true.
Dre: Ohh.
Austin: You didn't get to go to the RadioShack.
Dre: No. That’s okay.
Austin: Yeah. You would have loved a RadioShack. Jonathan, phew.
Dre: [exhales] Okay. I'm going to talk to this TV.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Dre (as Jonathan): Hi, Ira. My name’s Jonathan.
Austin: Connie. It’s Connie.
Dre: Connie. God damn it. [Keith laughs]
(as Jonathan): Hi, Connie. My name’s Jonathan. If you can understand me, can you change the channel to something or change your picture to something specific?
Austin: There is no response.
Dre (as Jonathan): [sighs] Yeah, figures. Okay.
Dre: Are there any, like, knobs or dials or bunny ears?
Austin: A bunch. A whole bunch.
Dre: Okay.
Austin: Yeah, all that stuff.
Dre: Okay.
Austin: There's knobs. There's dials. There's bunny ears. There's the VHS player. There's cables going to, like, the back of other boxes and stuff.
Dre: Ohh. Okay.
Austin: There's all sorts of stuff, but you've never used that stuff before.
Dre: No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know the difference.
Austin: But you are an inventor, right? So.
Dre: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boy. Okay. Yeah, I think I'm just going to start. I mean, Jonathan’s just going to start testing things. He’s going to, like, hit buttons in a specific order and see, okay, if I do this one and then this one, does anything happen? I think this looks like a Study roll, probably.
Austin: Yeah. Give me a Study roll. Is anyone helping? I'll say it now in advance.
Keith: Yes. Do we want to swap the leader of the roll so that—
Austin: We do not, because Jonathan has narrated being the lead on this.
Keith: Okay. Okay.
Dre: Also my Insight is 10.
Keith: My Insight is— oh, I guess right now it’s 8, but I get a +3 on every Study roll.
Dre: Mm. Well, too late now.
Keith: Too late now.
Austin: Too late now.
Dre: Wait, why’s your Insight down? I thought you were Slowed.
Keith: Uh…no, I was just wrong about what… [Dre laughs]
Austin: Yeah, Antistrophe is—
Keith: It was 8, and I was like, “My Insight’s 10 too,” but it’s not. It’s just always 8.
Austin: It’s not. Yeah, you're Might 10.
Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
Austin: You're a tough boy.
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Dre: Do I roll first, or do other people roll first here?
Austin: You would do other people first. Tends to be how we do these rolls.
Keith: That’s a 1.
Austin: [chuckles] That is a 1.
Keith: Does that help? I can't remember.
Austin: Wait, you only rolled a 10. Why’d you roll a 1d10?
Keith: Oh. I don't know.
Austin: Roll Study.
Keith: Because I'm Slowed. 
Austin: Yeah. [Keith laughs] You’ve really been hitting the damn pipe. Nicky gets a 10, so that’s a bonus.
Dre: Nicky gets a 10.
Austin: That’s a 3 again, right? Antistrophe only gets an 8, so yeah. Okay, so take a +3, Jonathan. Look at that!
Dre: 19. Critical success.
Keith: Whoa!
Austin: Critical success! You love to see it. Critical success plus 3. It’s 22. Doesn't even matter, because you got the crit. I mean, this is probably the best one to just kind of fiddle with until you get it, right?
Dre: Mm-hmm.
Austin: You are hitting buttons. You are pulling cables. You're plugging things and unplugging things. You're messing around with the bunny ears. You realize the buttons on the thing can kind of, there's like tracking going on. There's all sorts of— it doesn't work like our stuff in our human real world, right? Because it’s a ghost. It’s a haunted television, right?
Dre: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Austin: So sometimes you do have to change the channel. But what you realize is that there's a repeating pattern that includes this woman, a 20-something-year-old girl with frizzy dirty blonde hair that’s looking at the camera like she’s in a Real World confessional from the early ‘90s.
Dre: Oh, she’s doing her talking head.
Austin: She’s doing her, yeah. And you just kind of dial her in. You just kind of, like, you know. You just kind of figure out how to get the image clear. Also you got a crit, so you get an Opportunity.
Dre: Oh, yeah. Let me pull those up. Is that in our…?
Austin: It’s in sides. 
Dre: Our handouts list?
Austin: Yeah, it is. Opportunities.
Keith: Yeah.
Dre: Opportunities. There it is. Advantage, Affliction, Bonding.
Austin: Yeah.
Dre: Faux Pas, Favor, Information. Lost Item. [laughs] Okay. I mean, I think the easy one is Favor.
Austin: Yeah. Absolutely.
Dre: I want to have this TV’s favor.
Austin: For sure, yeah. There's no need to convince Connie here, and I'll, you know, I will say, I'll lean even further than that, in the sense that, you know, what you've just done is the solve for this thing, but I think Connie is like, you've relieved Connie’s headache a little bit, you know? Connie is Dazed, like that is the thing that Connie is.
Dre: Mm.
Austin: That is the Agony that Connie is associated with, so, like Wan, is fine with that. But there's a difference between being confused about something and being dazed versus, like, the physical experience of having a headache. And so I think she’s like,
(as Connie): Oh my god. Oh, that’s such a relief. Oh, that’s such a relief. Thanks, man.
Dre (as Jonathan): I'm glad I could help. Yeah, not a problem.
Austin (as Connie): I'm Connie.
Dre (as Jonathan): I'm Jonathan.
Austin: And wiggles the antenna on the TV.
Dre (as Jonathan): That’s neat.
Austin (as Connie): Where’d you all come from?
Dre (as Jonathan): [sighs] Oh, Connie, it’s a long story. We've been traipsing all over this castle for…genuinely, I don't know if I could tell you. Has it been hours? Has it been days?
Austin (as Connie): Well, that’s nothing.
Dre (as Jonathan): Well, yeah, I know. Relatively speaking, we're pretty new around here.
Austin (as Connie): Though I will say, things have gotten a little different lately, so.
Dre (as Jonathan): Yeah, Wan was telling us about the soldiers that you all need help with?
Austin (as Connie): It’s so weird. You know. I never thought they were, like, cool, you know? But they never gave us shit. We've been all up and down this castle for years. Years and years and years.
Dre (as Jonathan): So when’d they start?
Austin (as Connie): You know, I'd say just a couple weeks ago. It’s like, you know, there's these two different armies, right?
Dre (as Jonathan): Mm-hmm.
Austin (as Connie): You got the, what are they called? [louder] Hey, Wan, what are they called, again?
Austin (as Wan): I don't know.
Austin (as Connie): Yes, you do. We've gone over this. What are they called, again? I can't remember right now.
Austin (as Wan): [quietly] Creed of Oracles.
Austin (as Connie): Right, the Creed of Oracles. It’s the Creed of Oracles and the Windborn Church,
Austin: She says.
Dre (as Jonathan): Oh.
Austin (as Connie): And, you know, they've never liked each other or nothing, and they'd take pot shots at each other, but they kind of stick to their corners, you know? And they don't get us involved. And then all of a sudden, the Creed—that’s the one that’s kind of close to here—they, like, decided they wanted to take over this whole part of the castle, so they pushed us back here. They brought in exorcists. They did a whole…it was…
Austin: Shakes her head on the TV.
(as Connie): Unbelievable.
Dre (as Jonathan): That sounds rude.
Austin (as Connie): Extremely rude.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Are you all from the same place? Like, world? Like, originally?
Austin: She looks kind of confused. She’s living in a limited view of the world, similarly to some of the people in the tower back in the kind of first half of the game or the first half of the dungeon.
Dre: Okay.
Austin: Where it’s not clear what she knows. But I think she, like, interprets what you're saying in a sort of— she’s, like, going to give you the benefit of the doubt. And so she’s like,
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Austin (as Connie): Yeah, it is kind of like they're from a different world.
Austin: You know? [Keith laughs] You know, like that, right?
Keith: Okay. Got it.
Austin (as Connie): But they're from the same world, the two armies, right? And like, we're from our world, and obviously, like, we're from the same—
Austin: Like, points with the bunny ears towards you and back towards, kind of inwards towards herself.
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Austin: And she’s like,
(as Connie): And like, we're from the same world, but like, they're from like a different world, man.
Austin: You know?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah.
Austin (as Connie): And they brought in this weird— did you see it?
Jack: They're talking about—
Austin: And, like, wheels squeak, turn to point towards the window. And says,
(as Connie): They brought in this big weird, like, sky boat thing. You see it?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Oh, yeah.
Dre (as Jonathan): Oh yeah. I think we're going to steal that, eventually.
Austin: That’s yours. In your mind, that is yours, you know what I mean?
Dre: Mm. Okay. Okay.
Austin: You know it in your heart that that’s yours.
Dre: Yeah.
Austin: So, you don't know why it’s— but it’s not theft. I don't think you'll ever have to feel like its theft in your heart.
Dre: Sure.
Austin: They've stolen it, if anything.
Dre: Mm. I'm reclaiming it. 
Austin: You're reclaiming it.
Keith: That’s brave. [someone chuckles]
Jack: But Connie specifically said the castle, right?
Austin: Oh yeah. They know they're in a castle. It looks like a castle, you know?
Jack: Yeah. Okay.
Keith: Yeah. I had assumed that, because they've been all around the castle, they sort of knew what was going on, but I guess not.
Austin: It’s a weird castle they all live in, you know?
Dre: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah, it is a weird castle, yeah.
Austin: They're demons. They live in weird castles sometimes. That’s not that dissimilar from any life they've ever had before. Yeah.
Jack: [chuckles] They say this about demons.
Austin: Also, by the way, Connie can do Surprise Shock. It’s 20 MP, one creature, instantaneous. She slams into your foe and electrifies them, giving them HR + 25 bolt damage. 
Dre: Damn!
Keith: Whoa.
Austin: Damage is doubled against a target who is already Dazed.
Keith: Whoa.
Jack: This is what happens to Dan Aykroyd in Grosse Pointe Blank.
Austin: [chuckles] It’s true, yeah. [Keith sputters]
Dre (as Jonathan): All right. Well, Connie, you got any recommendations on who we should start talking to next?
Austin (as Connie): Uh…yeah. Ira’s a little tricky. You just gotta show him you're the boss, you know?
Dre (as Jonathan): Hmm. Nicky, I think that means you're up.
Austin: And that is your favor. She’s just straight up giving you clues on this next guy.
Dre: Okay. Gotcha.
Austin: That’s your Opportunity payoff.
Dre: Nice.
Ira [0:56:01]
Austin: Nicky? 
Art: All right. So this is Ira.
Austin: Ira.
Keith: Ira’s the vase?
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Devil on a ceramic pot with a old Jewish man’s name.
Austin: Yeah.
(as Nicky): All right, Ira. Let’s go.
Austin: Doesn't do anything.
(as Connie): No, you really—
Austin: Connie says,
(as Connie): You really gotta show him. You know? Show him what for.
Art: [mumbling] How am I gonna…?
Austin (as Connie): Give him the old, uh—
Austin: She doesn't say, “Give him the old one-two.” She’s like a ‘90s reality TV show girl. No. [Keith laughs]
Art: Nicky shakes the pot!
Austin: The little red devil starts to, like, shake around, but it doesn't come out. But it’s like flying around on the side of the vase, you know what I mean?
Art: Yeah, uh huh. I don't know why this immediately makes me think of Scrooged. This does not happen in Scrooged, but it sort of feels like…
Austin: [laughs] Uh huh. [Jack chuckles]
Keith: Shake him upside down.
Art: Sure, yeah. Shake it upside down?
Austin: Nothing seems to come out. 
Art: I don't know how to—
Austin: It’s bouncing around on the sort of, like, visual paint of the vase. You know what I mean?
Art: Yeah, I'm going to tell you something. I've never thought about how to be mean to a vase before.
Keith: Call him a loser. Call him breakable.
Dre: Yeah, break it.
Art: I don't want to break it.
Keith: [laughs] No, don't break him! Just call him breakable.
Sylvia: Don't break. The breaking might be murder.
Dre: Mm, that’s true.
Art: I had a bad experience recently with treating what I thought was an inanimate object frivolously. [Dre and Keith laugh]
Keith: How recently?
Art: Pretty recently. I flick it, but like, flick it kind of medium hard.
Austin: It tries to, like, retreat to the other side. [Jack chuckles] It’s trying to, like, ignore you. You know?
Art (as Nicky): Hey! Come on! We gotta get going.
Austin (as Connie): No, you really gotta…
Austin: Says Connie.
Art: All right. Ew! [Austin laughs]
Keith: Yeah, I agree with that. [Janine laughs]
Austin: Janine?
Janine: I typed in the chat, “Spit in him.” Like a spitoon! That’s a way to disrespect a vase. Treat it like a spitoon. 
Austin: Yeah. It would be disrespectful. Yeah. [laughs] 
Jack: Not disrespectful if the vase is a spitoon.
Austin: Dre says, “Family Feud answers.”
Janine: [imitating Family Feud] “Spit in him! Good answer!” [Dre and Jack laugh]
Sylvia: [imitating Family Feud] “Good answer!” “Show me ‘Spit in him!’”
Art: But like, Steve Harvey’s doing a lap around the stage, putting his head in his hands. [laughter] 
Austin: Yeah, exactly! 
Keith: Wait. Art, can you do… [laughs quietly] Sorry.
Jack: How to disrespect a vase.
Keith: I'm sorry to say this, because it’s come to mean something new, but can you do a hawk tuah? [Sylvia laughs]
Dre: Can you hock a loogie in this guy?
Sylvia: Can you spit on that thang?
Keith: Because we're going to do a two-part foley.
Austin: Oh, I see.
Art: Feels like a big— it feels like a big retcon to have that Nicky’s just been chewing tobacco this whole time.
Keith: I think that’s a small retcon.
Austin: Sorry, Keith is asking you to give a hawk tuah sound effect.
Art: To give the noise.
Keith: I need a sound effect.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Yeah. Like the [makes spitting sound]
[Keith dings something to imitate it landing in the vase]
Sylvia: Ugh.
Austin: There it is. There it is.
Dre: Ohoho.
Sylvia: Really good work.
Austin: Wow, any sound.
Sylvia: Sorry for making a disgusted sound over it. [laughs quietly] 
Austin: It was not great, yeah. It was fantastic, but it was not good, you know?
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Janine: That one wouldn't have flown. That would have just dribbled down your chin.
Austin: Yeah. [Keith laughs]
Jack: Stop it! Everybody stop it! [Janine laughs]
Keith: He just got a huge wad in there. Nicky’s chewing a huge wad.
Austin: This has not brought Ira out of the ceramic pot.
Jack: No?
Austin: No. [Janine chuckles]
Art (as Nicky): Well, does anyone have any more ideas before I drop it?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Call him a loser. Call him a stupid fucking loser, little loser, little vase loser boy. [Austin laughs]
Art (as Nicky): I don't think that that’s showing— that’s just being mean. That’s not like… [Jack laughs quietly]
Keith (as Antistrophe): Show him who’s boss.
Jack: Go on, try it, though. Go on. Do it, though.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Pathetic, stupid, waste of space.
Art (as Nicky): All right. You working through something here?
Keith (as Antistrophe): I'm just trying to get this devil to talk to us.
Art (as Nicky): Come on, you devil. Talk to me.
Keith (as Antistrophe): The TV gave us a hint.
Austin: Yeah. What do you—? Yeah, you're saying all the stuff you're saying, huh?
Art: Yeah.
Austin: I guess give me a…give me a Study roll? I guess…
Art: Uh…
Austin: No, give me a Persuade roll. I'm not going to say you have to do it the way I designed it. Give me a Check. And you were saying all that, Antistrophe?
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: I guess give me the damn roll.
Keith: [laughs quietly] Okay. What is that?
Austin: I'm going to call it the Insight + Willpower, the Interrogate button in the thing.
Keith: All right.
Austin: Difficulty is high here. It’s 13. This guy is an embodiment of anger, so.
Keith: Could I get help on the roll, since we were all kind of doing stuff?
Austin: Yeah, you can get help on the roll. You were all trying to do stuff, but you were really working through it.
Keith: Well, all the knocking around wasn't working.
Austin: [sighs] Yeah.
Keith: So what do you use when violence isn't working? You call ‘em names.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Art: This is another 8 plus 1, 9.
Austin: Damn.
Art: And I'm not sure this is worth the Fabula Point.
Austin: I don't think you can, right? Because it’s a…
Art: We did it last. We called upon the Bond last time.
Austin: Oh, right, right, right. That’s what it was. Jonathan, were you helping insult the thing? 
Dre: Uh, I don't really feel good about it.
Austin: Doesn't really seem in character. Yeah.
Dre: Yeah.
Keith: No, that’s okay. I don't need your help.
Austin: And you didn't!
Keith: 13. Boom. Got it.
Dre: Wow.
Austin: You didn't need it. And you didn't.
Keith: Perfect. [laughs] You stupid motherfucking vase!
Austin: You know, it starts wiggling around inside of Nicky’s hands and then jumps out at you and shatters on the ground, and out rolls a little red devil baby.
Art: Oh, it was break it?
Austin: It was break it. It was break it.
Keith: It was break it. Well, I was so worried about breaking it, because if I gave the Oasis Fig to Wan, it was going to kill him, so I was thinking, like, “Oh, these things are easy to kill.”
Art: Yeah, I also—
Austin (as Ira): [enraged] Oh, you're so big. You're a big piece of trash, is what you are!
Keith (as Antistrophe): Shut up.
Austin (as Ira): You shut up! You shut your mouth.
Keith (as Antistrophe): [mocking] What, are you three inches tall? Three inches tall?
Austin (as Ira): Three inches. Three inches is more than enough to beat your ass! Tell you what.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Show it. Show me.
Austin (as Ira): I'll show you right now!
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah. Show me.
Austin: All right. What is your Magic Defense?
Keith: It is 12.
Austin: All right. It misses. [Jack chuckles] It lets out a breath of devilish fire from his mouth, a searing barrage against his foes, and they miss you.
Art: [cross] All right, I get in between the two of them.
Austin (as Ira): [cross] Well, if you hadn't just broken my vase, I would’ve…! [grumbles]
Keith (as Antistrophe): I didn't break shit! You broke your vase.
Austin (as Ira): You made me!
Art: I'm going to get between them.
(as Nicky): Okay, okay, okay, okay! Okay. You don't need to do this.
Austin (as Ira): Why not? [Keith laughs] I like it.
Art (as Nicky): We don't need— I understand. I get where you're coming from. I've got a temper myself. But he’s not worth it!
Austin (as Ira): You don't have a temper! You couldn't even break my pot!
Keith (as Antistrophe): I'm not worth it?
Austin (as Ira): You got that right. Yeah, he’s not worth it.
Keith (as Antistrophe): I am too worth it!
Austin (as Ira): No, you're not.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Pipsqueak.
Austin (as Ira): Big baby.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Little baby! Little tiny baby!
Austin (as Ira): Yeah. Yeah, and guess what? Babies are supposed to be little! Babies are supposed to be little! I'm supposed to be a little baby!
Keith (as Antistrophe): Oh, so you're a baby. So you're admitting that you're a baby is what you're saying.
Austin (as Ira): Yeah, babies are good. They're pure. [quiet laughter] 
Keith (as Antistrophe): Oh, so you're a good pure baby. That’s what you are?
Austin (as Ira): You're damn right I am, you piece of shit!
Keith (as Antistrophe): You're an Agony. You're not a baby.
Austin (as Ira): Yeah, I'm an Agony. I'm an Agonyyy, yahahahaha! What do you think of that? [Art laughs]
Keith (as Antistrophe): That’s scary.
Austin (as Ira): Yeah, it’s scary. You're a little scared baby.
Keith (as Antistrophe): I don't think anything of that. I think you're a fool. I think you're a tiny fool. [Sylvia laughs]
Austin (as Ira): [quietly, taken aback] He called me a fool! He called me a fool. He called me a fool.
Art: Nicky throws up his hands and moves out from between the two of them.
Austin (as Ira): I've lived for thousands of years. [aggressive again] He called me a fool.
Keith (as Antistrophe): You've lived for thousands of years, and this is how you behave?
Austin (as Ira): I behave how I want to behave!
Art (as Nicky): How old is an adult one of you?
Austin (as Ira): [dejected] Well, that hurt. That hurt. [Keith laughs]
Art (as Nicky): That hurt?
Austin (as Ira): Now that hurt.
Austin: He sits down and starts to cry.
(as Ira): Now that hurt!
Art (as Nicky): Hey.
Austin (as Ira): An adult one of me?
Art (as Nicky): Hey, it’s okay.
Austin (as Ira): He said an adult one. How old’s an adult one of me.
Keith (as Antistrophe): How old is an adult one of you?
Austin (as Ira): It’s me! I'm the—! I'm the adult one of me.
Art (as Nicky): You said you were a baby. A baby is not an adult. Words have meaning. You’ll learn that when you're not a baby.
Austin (as Ira): I guess— [angry grumble] [Keith laugh quietly]
Austin: Little bits of fire coming out of the nostrils.
(as Ira): [getting angry again] I thought you were going to be nice! Wan said you were going to be nice.
Austin: Voice starts getting loud again.
Keith (as Antistrophe): We can be nice.
Art (as Nicky): We're very nice.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah, we're very nice. But you wouldn't talk to us, and we were trying to help.
Austin (as Ira): [pouting] Why should I talk to you? Bunch of jerks.
Keith (as Antistrophe): We want to go— well, first of all, the main thing that we want is to get out of this room.
Austin (as Ira): You and me both.
Keith (as Antistrophe): So there's that. And second of all—
Austin (as Ira): They won't let us out of the room!
Art (as Nicky): We'll get you out of the room.
Keith (as Antistrophe): We want to take care of the soldiers. We'll get you out of the room. That’s why we're here.
Austin (as Ira): Well, why didn't you—
Keith (as Antistrophe): You heard Wan say all that stuff, and you still were hiding.
Austin (as Ira): Well, he said that to me in our own little private, you know.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Groupchat?
Art (as Nicky): Y'all got a groupchat?
Austin (as Ira): Yeah, a little…you wouldn't understand. We got a little, yeah, heheh.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Psychic…
Austin (as Ira): Hehehehehe. We say some, uh, heheheh. We got some jokes in there you wouldn't say in front of mixed company.
Dre (as Jonathan): Now, Mr. Ira, I presume that you all have not been able to get out of this room because you yourself are too scared to do anything about it, but if you could just tell us what to do, you know, we're adults, so we can handle it.
Austin (as Ira): Hey, the turtle’s got chops! Throwing it like he means it!
Keith (as Antistrophe): He does mean it.
Austin (as Ira): We'll help out.
Dre (as Jonathan): I do mean it. I would like to go home.
Austin (as Ira): And we ain't scared. We just got our asses kicked, all right?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Hmm.
Dre (as Jonathan): Ohhh.
Austin (as Ira): We can open the door, but we can't leave, um, how do you say it, alone. We gotta be, like, locked up with somebody.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Adult supervision?
Austin (as Ira): Not adult supervision! It could be a kid. 
Keith (as Antistrophe): [laughs] Even a kid could keep guard?
Austin (as Ira): As long as we got attached to somebody, you know what I mean? We don't have free run of the place anymore.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Sure. Got it.
Austin (as Ira): We need a chaperone.
Art (as Nicky): All right. Let it be us.
Austin (as Ira): I'm a little confused which one of you, uh…because I was in your hands, but it was really, you know.
Austin: And, like, points to Antistrophe.
Art (as Nicky): Yeah, I think that you and Antistrophe would not be a good long term pairing, but, you know.
Austin (as Ira): Opposites attract, baby.
Art (as Nicky): I do think— see, here’s the thing. Me and you, I gotta say, I don't think it’s gonna work, but I gotta say, from a metatextual perspective, I do think you should go with Antistrophe. [Austin laughs] 
Janine: I can't believe you just broke up with him.
Art (as Nicky): I think Antistrophe with the stoner and the mad baby is what the metaphorical audience wants here.
Austin (as Ira): Oh, I gotta give the people what they deserve, what they need.
Art (as Nicky): I agree.
Keith: Nicky, have you thought about Loremaster as a class? 
Austin: [laughs] I'm feeling a little Loremaster from you. 
Art: Yeah.
Austin: You're saying words like “metatextuality.” You're supposing an audience, you know?
Art: Suppose this was a program, [Keith: Hmm.] and they could get Keith, the stoner, and the mad baby.
Keith: Who?
Art: Just feels like a good time.
Austin: [laughing] Who’s Keith? The alien? The alien baseball player?
Art: Keith, the alien baseball player.
Keith: Are you talking about the famous alien baseball player?
Sylvia: Dream blunt rotation.
Austin: Dream blunt rotation! Ahh. Then, yeah. As long as you're willing to—
Keith: Smaller than the little demon baby too, so.
Austin (as Ira): Well, yadda yadda yadda. You accept the contract?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah, sure.
Austin: And floats by your— you do now have three little guys floating around you, because he like flaps his devil wings up to now fly up and can do Devil’s Breath. Up to three targets, instantaneous, searing barrage, HR + 15, et cetera. If it crits, you get an Opportunity: each target suffers enraged.
Keith: All right.
Hezzi [1:08:21]
Austin: And that leaves us with Hezzi and Mephi, Miss Mephitic.
Jack: The piano and the ballerina?
Austin: That’s correct.
Keith: I go over to the piano.
Austin: Mm-hmm. As you approach it, it stops playing.
Art: Wait, you're going to take a third one of these?
Keith: No. Hey, we have not given the thing to the person who approaches it I think even half the time.
Art: All right.
Dre: I think we have every time except for this last one. [laughs] 
Austin: That is actually correct, Dre, yes.
Art: Well, Keith approached…
Dre: But it doesn't have to go that way.
Art: Yeah.
Austin: Keith solved the Melo puzzle by smoking the pipe is what happened.
Dre: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Austin: Yeah. Yeah, so you walk up to the piano. As you get close, I'll say again, what I said before, which is it plays music, kind of. This kind of arrhythmic tonal piece is playing as you approach it, but then if you get too close, it stops playing. But if you get too far away, you literally can't hear it. It’s being played so softly.
Art: Can we learn this song?
Austin: Give me a Study Check.
Art: Feel like a piano player.
Austin: You got a 7. Is anyone helping?
Art: Yeah, I would take help. I would also be willing to Fabula this, but it’s tricky.
Keith: Yeah, I can help.
Austin: You would Fabula, which would be our sixth Fabula Point or our fifth Fabula Point? 
Keith: I think fifth.
Dre: Fifth sounds right.
Art: Yeah, I think I talked about using on and didn't.
Austin: Okay. Yeah.
Dre: I would also be happy to help.
Art: Why don't we get a couple helps down, because it’s a tricky ‘un.
Keith: All right. This was a Study.
Austin: Mm-hmm. One off. Hey, there you go.
Dre: There we go.
Austin: Jonathan and Nicky.
Dre: And you get another +1 because I have a Bond with you.
Austin: So you're up to 9 now, Nicky.
Art: All right.
Austin: So you could Fabula.
Keith: I could use my Fabula Point and use my Bond to get that to a 10.
Art: Oh, sure.
Keith: Or no, the Bond just gives one. So I guess either way it doesn't matter.
Art: Well, it turns your 9 into a 10, and that would turn the 7 into a 10.
Austin: Yeah. 
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: It truly doesn't matter which one of you does it, I think, so.
Art: I only have one left, so if you have more than one, it would be a little more…
Keith: I also only have one left.
Art: All right, then I'll spend it. It’s my roll.
Austin: There you go.
Keith: Okay.
Austin: That gets it up to a 10.
Art: Although, do I have to reroll? Could I add 1?
Austin: You could probably add 1 from a Bond. Right, you have a Bond with Jonathan or Antistrophe, at this point.
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Art: Oh, sure, yeah.
Austin: Which, what’s the Bond with Jonathan? Is this Loyal and…or do you use the Antistrophe one? It’s up to you.
Art: Oh. I wish I had Admiration with Jonathan.
Austin: Aw. Well, maybe that’s something for downtime. 
Art: One day.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Because like, I want this to be impressive, but I don't feel like I need to impress people that I'm loyal to or that I have affection for.
Austin: Mm.
Art: Those people should just…
Austin: Should just like you? 
Art: Like me. Yeah. [laughs quietly] 
Dre: No, this is good. This is healthy relationship dynamics.
Keith: You might want to impress someone that you're loyal to.
Austin: Especially because it’s one way, right? The way Bonds work is that they're not—
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: It’s not that they're loyal to you. It’s that you're loyal to them, right?
Art: Right. All right, then yeah.
Austin: All right. Yeah, with a 10. You know, with a 7, you learn it. You know, you learn the notes. Or maybe with a 7, you recognize, like, oh yeah, these are particular notes happening. And with a 10, you learn that there's, like, a pattern to the notes, and you can try to duplicate them? Which is actually maybe really interesting with the Jonathan part, given the place of singing in Jonathan’s culture, not that Jonathan’s going home anytime soon, but you know.
Art: Well, you're still a member of the culture. 
Austin: Yeah, exactly. 
Art: Diaspora turtle.
Austin: I think this must be six and not five, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it’s five. Fabula Points.
Art: We can go through and count.
Austin: Yeah, we'll count. But I want to make sure you have a good sense, so you know if you're close to getting a— it’s sixth. I found where Sylvi said fourth, so. Four and then five, and this is six.
Dre: We're one away?
Austin: You're one away. So yeah, what do you do with having learned this pattern, this song? It’s like a really slow long pattern, you know?
Art: I go to the piano, and I play it? Because it stops when you approach, right?
Austin: It does stop when you approach, yeah. In fact, as you approach, you notice that the bench moves, as if someone’s gotten off of the bench. And yeah, I'll say—
Art: I'm just hoping to impress this piano.
Austin: Yeah. I'll say you've learned it. You've learned how to play it. You play it. I'll keep this as a single roll. And from behind you—I guess, so, for Jonathan and Antistrophe, looking at Nicky—behind Nicky, very slowly, a gigantic faceless, or not faceless, because it has an eye, but that’s all it has. It has one eye.
Keith: Feature? Featureless?
Austin: Featureless besides the one eye, an ogre with long black hair fades in very slowly. It’s the ghost of an ogre.
Jack: Sick.
Keith: A ghogre.
Austin: It’s a ghogre. And as it slowly fades in, you can see, really attentively, they're really attentively looking at Nicky as he plays the piano, and when Nicky finishes the thing, Hezzi, the ghost ogre, the ghogre, completely firms up and is, like, in the world. And then, [applauds] claps for your performance. 
Keith: [applauds] I also clap. I clap along.
Austin: And then, psychically, you can hear, Nicky, you can hear Hezzi’s voice, who says,
(as Hezzi): That was really good. That was really good.
Art (as Nicky): Oh, hey, thanks.
Austin (as Hezzi): I had my doubts about you guys, but Wan was right. You're pretty remarkable. You think you could really help us out?
Art (as Nicky): I think we can, yeah. We've gotten out of every other room we've been in. [Keith laughs]
Austin (as Hezzi): That’s a good joke. I'll be right here. Just…I’ll be right here, okay? Just trust me, I'll be right here.
Art (as Nicky): I trust you.
Austin (as Hezzi): If you ever need anything, you just let me know.
Art (as Nicky): Yeah.
Austin: And does, like, a wave.
Art (as Nicky): Likewise.
Austin: Big muscle arm, you know? And then fades back into invisibility. But you do gain, for as long as they are attached to you, Intimidating Presence. It is an attack spell, 5 MP per target, up to three creatures, instantaneous. Hezzi shows themself in fully material form, strikes an aggressive pose, and roars, and gives every target Shaken. Does not actually— would never, would never actually, you know, attack but does give targets Shaken, up to three creatures.
Jack: It’s Donnie’s “I always frighten people with my…my, uh, horrible demeanor.”
Austin: It is! Yeah, what if Donnie was a big one-eyed troll? Yeah, without a mouth or a nose.
Keith: Yeah, what was Donnie’s thing? Visage? Ghostly visage or something?
Austin: Visage, yeah, visage. 
Miss Mephitic [1:15:19]
Austin: And that leaves us with the big ballerina in the big jewelry box or the big music box, not a jewelry box. Though maybe there's, like, some jewelry in there.
Keith: Dre?
Dre: Oh, is Jonathan back up?
Austin: Jonathan’s like, “I guess I'm doing it.”
Keith: Yeah, I think Jonathan’s the one without…
Dre: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah, without two.
Dre: Okay.
Austin: You checking this thing out?
Dre: Yeah.
Austin: It is, like I said, a big music box. There's a big crank on the very front of it. The kind of ballerina, the mechanical ballerina in the middle is just hanging out en pointe, in a pose.
Dre: Mm-hmm.
Austin: Classic tutu ballerina, you know?
Dre: Yeah. I guess we spit on that thang, and now we're going to crank it.
Austin: Oh! Okay.
Sylvia: Jesus christ.
Austin: As you start to turn the crank, I guess, you know, again, you have the Inventor Identity, right? I believe you did.
Dre: Mm-hmm.
Austin: That is your Identity, if I'm remembering right.
Dre: Mm-hmm.
Austin: You get, like, oh, this is like some sort of crank that— it’s not just mechanical energy. You start to push it, and you're like, this is so heavy a push that— I mean, it’s a big machine, so maybe it is one-to-one at first, but you're like, no, this is— you're going to be building up electrical energy or something to power it is what you think.
Dre: Mm-hmm.
Austin: And so you're turning it to give it the energy it needs to start dancing, and it gets harder and harder the you turn it, but if you let go, you don't turn it all the way, it doesn't actually get enough energy to start.
Dre: Mm.
Austin: And you're going to need a little bit of push, so I think this is actually a Might Check.
Dre: Sure.
Austin: Might + Might. Difficulty 10.
Keith: Do you need help cranking it?
Dre: Probably. [Keith laughs quietly] My Might is not great.
Austin: Yeah. Let’s start with [Dre: Could I—] just your roll and see where it’s at, and then we'll…
Dre: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Austin: What were you going to ask?
Dre: I was going to say, could we— I was going to pitch you on doing Might and Willpower, because that’s Endure.
Austin: Sure. Yeah, I'll give you that. Yeah, you just gotta stick with it. Yeah, I like that.
Dre: Mm-hmm.
Austin: Might and Willpower works for me.
Dre: Okay. A 9.
Austin: That’s a 9. You only need another 1. Can you get the help you need? Not from Antistrophe, you can't.
Dre: Not from Antistrophe.
Keith: Nope. I'm bad at helping.
Austin: Yeah. Not from Nicky, you can't.
Dre: Mm. And I don't have any Fabula Points left.
Austin: And you don't have any Fabula Points left.
Art: Nor do I.
Keith: I have Fabula Points left.
Austin: Do you have a Bond with Jonathan?
Keith: No, but I could reroll.
Austin: You could reroll yours and see if you get up to…
Keith: Yeah, I could reroll my 2.
Austin: Okay. Yeah. You're doing— 
Keith: Was it the—
Austin: It should be Might and Willpower, not— oh, right. I forgot that this system is busted. I forgot that…
Keith: Right, mine says Might and Willpower, but then the roll says Might + Might.
Austin: But it’s actually Willpower. 
Dre: Mm.
Austin: Good, good, good. All right, yeah. All you need is a 10. A 10 will do it.
Keith: I'm just going to reroll the 8, and I'm going to keep the 5.
Austin: What?
Dre: What?
Keith: Sorry, I'm going to reroll the d10, because the 5 is from the d8, so I'm going to keep that and then reroll the d10.
Austin: What? 
Dre: What? No.
Austin: No, it’s a 2 and a 3, Keith.
Dre: Yeah.
Art: Oh, it’s a 2 and a 3.
Keith: Oh, what? No, mine— oh. Oh, I was looking at Art’s. 
Austin: Oh, okay.
Keith: I'm looking at Art’s. That’s why. So I was like, “Oh, I'm going to keep the 5 and reroll the 10.”
Austin: Yeah, that would make sense. That would make sense. Yeah, I see. Yeah.
Keith: Yeah. Okay. I was like, “Why the fuck is everyone confused? My thing makes perfect sense, what I'm saying.”
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: But yeah, I was looking at the wrong thing. Meta, Fabula Point, reroll it.
Austin: Mm-hmm. Reroll to crank it. And that’s 7. That’s an XP for everybody.
Dre: Woo!
Keith: Endure. There we go.
Austin: Hey, there's a 12!
Keith: 12.
Dre: [sighs] Thank god.
Austin: That’s a +1 to Jonathan. Jonathan, you turn it all the way, and when you turn it all the way to the very end, little spiky bits come out of the handle and stab into you, and you take Poisoned. No damage.
Dre: Okay.
Austin: Uh, 1 damage. 1 poison damage.
Dre: Sure.
Austin: And you take the Poisoned, uh…I almost said Agony, but they're called Conditions in this game.
Dre: Mm-hmm.
Austin: The ballerina starts to spin on the disc. You know, a little musical tune plays, a classic jewelry box tune, music box tune. And bits of the ballerina start to flake away as roots and vines begin to burst from inside, wrapping her up until it is a sort of tall lumbering knot of plant life surrounding this— it’s not even in a human— it’s tall like a human, sort of, but it completely crushes the big ballerina. It’s emerged as if a seed has bloomed all at once, and in fact, all up and down the plant life, little flowers start to blossom, but each flower head is actually alternating petals and, like, weird toothlike fangs or thorns that have a toothlike coloring to them, and you cannot tell which is more poisonous, the petals or the fangs. And it kind of just flops on its side and begins to crawl around. Like, it’s sort of a humanoid shape, if a humanoid was like a worm, you know what I mean? And it just crawls over next to you and like, just sits there. And Wan says,
(as Wan): That’s Miss Mephitic, but you can call her Mephi.
Dre (as Jonathan): Hi, Mephi.
Austin (as Miss Mephitic): Hello.
Dre (as Jonathan): How are you doing?
Austin (as Miss Mephitic): Better now.
Dre (as Jonathan): Well, good. I'm glad to hear it.
Austin: Begins to, like, do the worm crawl over towards one of the doors and begins crawling over to the west. There's a western door and a northwestern door. And she, like, pushes herself up with all of her strength and unlatches the western door, and it begins to kind of roll away in this kind of, you know, again, I've described them as like big industrial doors, and this one kind of rolls into the side of the wall basically, opening up the door.
Dre: Mm.
Austin: I think Ira says,
(as Ira): Now, listen. The other door would be quicker, but you don't want to go into that door.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Why not?
Austin (as Ira): Eh, whole bunch of them there. Connects to the lower part of the castle, which is where we want to go. If you get us down there, here’s what we'll do. You get us there, or you get them out of the room, right? You somehow draw them away but you let us get in, we can go down in the castle, we can take care of some stuff. We can help you out, you know?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Oh, well let’s do that, then.
Austin (as Ira): You want that airship, right?
Dre (as Jonathan): Yeah.
Keith (as Antistrophe): I don't— oh. Yeah, I guess we do.
Austin (as Ira): Well, we can get it all unanchored for you. But you gotta get us safely into the room by getting the people in there out. You get me?
Keith (as Antistrophe): I get you.
Dre (as Jonathan): Yeah. I'm picking up what you're putting down.
Keith (as Antistrophe): So you want us to go to the door that you said at first not to go down?
Austin (as Ira): No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You go in there right now, you get killed.
Keith (as Antistrophe): Oh. Okay.
Austin (as Ira): You gotta figure a way to get them out of there. You know?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Got it. Got it.
Dre (as Jonathan): Like, into here?
Austin (as Ira): Eh, I would prefer not. You know, because if this all gets bad, this is where we're from. 
Dre (as Jonathan): Mm. No, fair.
Austin (as Ira): Get them somewhere else, you know?
Keith (as Antistrophe): Okay. So go west.
Austin (as Ira): Let’s start this way, and from there, eh, we shall see.
Austin: And the door opens, and you can head west, down a flight of stairs.
[“The Castle Eschatonica” by Jack de Quidt plays]